Emails (humor,sad,good,bad all types)

God2

2008-02-20T04:44:00.001-08:00

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I
have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say
one
thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to
your
problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them
with
my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the
bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible
phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's
house.

The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in
their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male
talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you
want a
date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put
your
Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"

God1

2008-02-20T04:42:00.001-08:00

One day Lord shiva decided to visit the earth and try

some alcohol. So he changed his get-up and went to a

bar in Delhi and asked the bartender : "What all do u

have". Bartender : "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin,

beer etc etc.".

Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first, give me 5 bottles

of whisky".

After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord shiva decided

to try Rum.

Bartender was shocked :"Who is this man, after having

5 bottles of whisky, he is still on his feet".

After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer.

After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.

Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him : "Sir,

who are you?? I have seen people getting drunk after

having 4 glasses of whisky, and you'vealmost had 50

bottles and you are still on your feet, who are

you"???

Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain".

Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!!!

sitemap

2008-02-14T05:01:00.000-08:00

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Relation19

2008-02-06T05:20:00.062-08:00

The Perfect Murder

You don’t need guns or bombs to kill a man,

Consider the case of my friend and Suzanne,

Three steps is all it took for pretty little her,

To pull all of what’s called the perfect murder.

The first step was the hesitant glance,

Not a knife or an old rusted lance.

The look tore through my friend’s heart,

Just a charming look, no poisoned darts.

The second step was the silent yes,

In her mother’s old black college dress,

All she said was you are the one,

Just a yes, not even a shot from a gun.

The last step was the tearless goodbye,

But he was still not ready to die,

He bravely refused to be her kill,

Grasped for breath, his sweet poison pill.

So she did what she had to do,

She had to see the job through,

She released her weapon for the final blow,

The look in his dead eyes, I wish I could show.

A look of shock and a helpless plea,

The perfect weapon was she with me.

Relation26

2008-02-06T05:20:00.061-08:00

Six Classic Affairs

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,

they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside

and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my

secretary. We loved all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked

about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling

around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and

replied, "! Not this time!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a

startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever

seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician

commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive

private part. It must! be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,

opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening

the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it

so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a

sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two

days at the Smith's

and nobody offered me a damned thing."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and

a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel,"

the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,

"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,

your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I already know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the

poison work."

Six Classic Affairs

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relation3

2008-02-06T05:20:00.060-08:00

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents ) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.

Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix .... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.

Relation17

2008-02-06T05:20:00.059-08:00

MIStakes

If a barber makes a mistake,

It's a

...

New Style

If a driver makes a mistake,

It is an		...
Accident

If a engineer makes a mistake,

It is a		...
New Venture

If parents makes a mistake,

It is a		...
New generation

If a politician makes a mistake,

It is a

...

New Law

If a scientist makes a mistake,

It is a		…
New Invention

If a tailor makes a mistake,

It is a		...
New Fashion

If a teacher makes a mistake ,

It is a		...
New Theory

If our boss makes a mistake,

It is our		...
Mistake

If an employee makes a mistake,

It is a Mistake

...

Relation37

2008-02-06T05:20:00.058-08:00

That’s Love

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous ....then it's not love .. it's *"Infatuation"*

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't ... then it's not love.. it's *"Compromise"*

If you love some one because you have been kissed by him ... then it's not love.. it's *"Inferiority complex"*

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings .. then it's not love .. it's *"Charity"*

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ... then it's not love... it's *"Friendship"*

BUT...
If you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him ... that's *"LOVE"*

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's *"LOVE"*

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to ... that's *"LOVE"*

Relation33

2008-02-06T05:20:00.057-08:00

Men on earth die and go to heaven. God comes and says," I want the men to form two queues one line for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.

God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Relation23

2008-02-06T05:20:00.056-08:00

A beautiful story

I request all of you to go through this nice REAL story. I always felt and feel that right guidance and support to our children can do wonders in their life. And we need to invest that for the initial 15 / 20 years and the dividend is lifelong.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of
school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at
her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was
impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a
little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did
not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that
he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got
to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his
papers
with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at
the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review
each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when
she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a
ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to
be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well
liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a
terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on
him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and
his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade

teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't
show much
interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes
sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of
herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas
presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from
a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the
other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a
rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was
one-quarter full of perfume . But she stifled the children's laughter when
she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some
of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed

after school that day
just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom
used to."

After the children left, she cried
for at least an hour. On that very
day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began
to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.

As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she
encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had
become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that
she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's
pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her
that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that

he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the
best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things
had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck
with it, and would
soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in
his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little
further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite
teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was
signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter
that spring. Teddy said he

had met this girl and was going to be married. He
explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place
that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course,
Mrs.Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one
with
several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the
perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas
together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's
ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for
making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said,
"Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could
make

a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist
in DesMoines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Relation12

2008-02-06T05:20:00.055-08:00

In the year 2026... Reunion!

"Class of 2026 - Reunion ", read the banner,

Oh! The last 20 years has gone so sooner,

The great college days, I started remembering,

Seems like only yesterday I finished Master degree.

Seeing my class mates, after 20 years,

My eyes were filled with tears,

Everyone has changed a lot,

No one escaped nature's plot.

Guys who were smart and handsome,

Have become bald and buxom,

Girls who used to fill our dreams,

Almost brought out screams.

Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my life,

Oops! today she is somebody else's wife,

After years, talked to her for a little while,

Learned she is happy, that made me smile.

Entered our class' Mr. Romeo,

Who has played many a cameo?

We started teasing him together,

About what all he did to-get-her,

Project reviews to campus interviews,

Nicknames to last bench games,

Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,

Short term crushes to class room blushes,

The way v wrote Internals �?��?��?�

Everything was fresh in our mind,

Wished life could rewind,

Laughed, played and rejoiced,

Once again we became girls and boys.

Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,

Till the painful moment of separation,

It was time to part,

Returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,

And too many worries,

But those cherished moments,

Will live forever in our memories.... .

Relation27

2008-02-06T05:20:00.054-08:00

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on
a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and
began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005
models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking Rs.11,50,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They
will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It
really
is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him
in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

"Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"

Relation41

2008-02-06T05:20:00.053-08:00

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My
mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such
to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.
There was this one day during elementary school.

I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The
next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.

I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my
mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me
a laughingstock. Why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time,
it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.

Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I
had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My
mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake
me. I took a look at her, and then turned away.

Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something
pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who
was crying out of her one eye.
So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I
hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied,
and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now
I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place
that doesn't remind me of my mom.
This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came
to see me "What?! Who's this?!" ...It was my mother...Still with her one
eye.

It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran
away, scared of my mom's eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if I tried to make
that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my
daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm so sorry. I may have
gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank good ness... she
doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't
going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school
reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a
business trip.

After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a
house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold
ground.

But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand....
it was a letter to me.

She wrote :

My son....

I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul
anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me
once in a while?

I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the
reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry
that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your
eye.

As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one
eye... so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was seeing a
whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you
were angry with me. I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss
the times when you were still young around me.

I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.

My world shattered !!

Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother.

Never Forget the sacrifices parents do for you and never tell you. Each
drop of our blood is parent's sacrifice. never let them go in their old age
when they really in need of us.

LOVE YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS.

Relation46

2008-02-06T05:20:00.052-08:00

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents ) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.

Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix .... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.

Relation36

2008-02-06T05:20:00.051-08:00

The relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,

"It's just standard pricing procedure.

We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

No offence meant. J

Relation39

2008-02-06T05:20:00.050-08:00

Relation30

2008-02-06T05:20:00.049-08:00

TWO WOMEN TALKING:

==================================

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I

mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I

think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I

think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could

easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I

was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent

my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to

take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your

shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see

how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit

me so much easier.

...

....and it goes on and on and on ................

....

...

NOW TWO MEN TALKING

======================================

Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.

Relation43

2008-02-06T05:20:00.048-08:00

enjoy.....!

Interview Rejects!

message:
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company
don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of
u.

Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a
girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This
personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My
company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.

Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a
"grasshopper"!
(Job hoper lah!)

Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is
dealing with money and you will seduce.

Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want
to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will
affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In
you!!

Relation9

2008-02-06T05:20:00.047-08:00

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what it is?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Love the reason for all Unreasonable action

Relation29

2008-02-06T05:20:00.046-08:00

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the

Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: ------------------- silence ------------------------

HUSBAND: "sh*t."

************************************************

;-)

Relation42

2008-02-06T05:20:00.045-08:00

A wonderful Story

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

MY WISH FOR YOU...
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.
You have two choices right now:
1. Delete this email.
2. Invite love by sharing this story with all the people you care about.
I hope you will choose #2. As I did.

Relation25

2008-02-06T05:20:00.044-08:00

THE CRUSH CHEMISTRY

This is an AWESOME OPPORTUNITY to find out what does your “SOMEONE SPECIAL” thinks about you…

First of all you have to follow some steps accordingly to find out about your crush.
Choose one option from every question about your crush.
Simultaneously add the numbers next to your every option.
Then match the total with the RESUTS REACTION given below.

Wish you good luck

Select the initial letter of your crush.

A-1, B-2, C-3, D-4, E-5, F-6, G-7, H-8, I-9, J-10

K-1, L-2, M-3, N-4, O-5, P-6, Q-7, R-8, S-9, T-10

U-1, V-2, W-3, X-4, Y-5, Z-6.

Select his/her skin color.

Fair-5, dark-3, medium-2.

Loves you.

Too much-5, ok-4, doesn't love u -3, don't know-8

Gone for a date??

YES- 3 NO - 5

Height-

Is between 4 to 5 -5

Is between 5 to 6 -2

Is between 6 to 7 -8

Will you go for a date in future??

YES - 4 NO- 10

His/her eye color...

Black-8, brown-4, blue-5

His/her Favorite color-

Blue-7, black-6, brown-5, white-3, yellow-4, don't know-1

Behavior-

Good-7, naughty-5, bad-2, strange-3, don't know-4.

NOW MATCH YOUR TOTAL WITH THE GIVEN RESULT REACTION-

If your total is-

30- hates you

31- Adores you

32- Will cheat you

33- Will soon kiss you

34- Just a good friend

35- Loves you every moment of life

36- Will soon propose you

37- Hates your behavior

38 - Loves you more than anyone else

39- Stop loving him/her

40- Has many other affaires

41- Has started loving you

42- Hates you because you are moody

43- Moody in love with you

44- Say yes if he/she proposes you

45- Not interested in you

46- Loves you very much

47- Will forget you

48- Loves you but tries to hurt you

49- Will use you as time pass

50- Doesn't loves you

51- You will surely carry on love

52- Your family won't accept him/her

53- Takes everything for granted

54- Your close friend is behind him/her

55- Your brother/sister

56- No chance

57- You have to propose him/her

58 - Life is happy

59- Waiting to get linked with you

60- No chance

61- Will get married to someone else

62- You will live happy ever after with him/her

HOPE YOU HAV GOT A SATISFACTORY RESULT ABOUT YOUR DREAM MATE!!!

Relation13

2008-02-06T05:20:00.043-08:00

• Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !

• A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.

• If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

• There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

• Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?
Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

• Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Relation14

2008-02-06T05:20:00.042-08:00

ONE

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey.
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true,
One life can make a difference,
You see, it's up to you!

Realize the power of ONE !!!

“In order to have friendship you must look past the color to the soul, because within the soul lies a rainbow of many colors.”

Relation40

2008-02-06T05:20:00.041-08:00

MOMENTS IN LIFE

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human, and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Don't count the years--count the memories...........

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away !

Relation44

2008-02-06T05:20:00.040-08:00

Math student's love letter!!!

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in

trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular

face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your

triangular garden.

Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a

vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a

deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart,

it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots,

which only you can solve by making good binary relation

with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.

I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions

but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits

from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The

geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.

My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on

date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of

160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial

of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives

of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
De-Morgan's Law,
7th Cross. Binomial Avenue,
India of Matrices - (a+b)^2

Relation4

2008-02-06T05:20:00.039-08:00

What is marriage

1. Marriage is not a word.

It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
Institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:

engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first
year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second
year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found
himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and
found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives
and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know
son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere,
son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it
is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a
10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for
her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in
Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They
just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the
marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only
seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL
HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT
HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if
you get home before I do, leave the hallway
lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING
YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED
THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he
received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN
HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Relation11

2008-02-06T05:20:00.038-08:00

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !

Relation47

2008-02-06T05:20:00.037-08:00

What is marriage

Relation16

2008-02-06T05:20:00.036-08:00

Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
(Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's)

Hero : Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero : wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his desk ).

Manager : Hey, I need some help from you

Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me.

Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero : I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero : cool, you know what my manager does, he's kinda..... keeps asking stupid tings, tries to give me stupid work.... $*#&$@

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero : Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero : hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now.
ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM ...!!
AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW !!

Relation32

2008-02-06T05:20:00.035-08:00

It seems that an article was written to a well-founded magazine, by
an English woman who requested a response from Indian men. She got
what she asked for (and more)!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------
This letter was written in response to an article:

Dear Editor:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male
readers. I am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male,
good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of
Indian female's attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian
women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too
loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or
carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever
I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to
wine and dine me and give me the world If Indian women are so up in
arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at
themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out
in public.

I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we white women
are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his
wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the
model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl
Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr.,
Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, BillyBlanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley
Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry
and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.

Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want
us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to
treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Response:

Dear Editor:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White
Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I
graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta,
Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I
have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a
house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful
Non-White men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want
to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated
white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls
in my neighbourhood were raised traditionally.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women
because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men,
because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become
intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that
our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us,
drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many
Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I
have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on
how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White
Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women.
Non-whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan,
Morris Chestn! ut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface'
Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong
Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white
men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire
Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and
David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want the 'Disgusted White
Girl' to be misinformed.

Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of
goddess. Remember, when Non-white Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut
and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you
were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each
other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the
Non-white woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It
was the Non-white woman that taught you how to raise your children.
It was Non-white women who were breast-feeding and raising your
babies during slavery. It is the Non-white woman that had to endure
watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and
thrown in jail.

Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being
Non-white and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love
and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen.
It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to
them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes,
colours and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I
find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving
and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome
great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe
in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest
potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have
fallen in love with Indian women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy
and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you
continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin. If you are so
proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale
skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, with unnatural
and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have
what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can
walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately,
I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife
and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and
understand my struggles. I am looking for a sou l mate and;
unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,

Indian Royalty.

Relation6

2008-02-06T05:20:00.034-08:00

Kuch Dil Se

Wo Mujh se Meri Udasiyon ki Waja puchti hai

Kitni Pagal hai Raat k Sannate ki Waja puchati hai…

Wo Mujh se Meri Aanso'on ki Waja Pucthi hai

Kitni Pagal hai Barish k barasne ki Waja puchti hai…

Wo Mujh se Meri Pasand pucthi hai

Kitni Pagal hai Khud apne hi barey mai pucti hai…

Wo Mujh se Meri Wafa ki intihaa puchti hai

Kitni Pagal hai Sahil per Khari Samandar ki Gehrai puchti hai...

Kabhi wafa nahi mili jinse….

Kyun dil usi bewafa ko chahta hai…

Pyaar ka matlab jise maloom na tha….

Kyun usi ke pyaar me khona chahta hai…

Jisne aankhon ko bas ashk hi diye hain…

Kyun uske labon pe hasi dena chahta hai…

Kal hi to tha jab usne muh mora tha…

Aaj usi ki tasveer ke sahare kyun jeena chahta hai…

Relation22

2008-02-06T05:20:00.033-08:00

Honourable MEN

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to
understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize
the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud
of after reading it!
**************************************************

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a
tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When
he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are
you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into
water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with
a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver
Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave
him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went
home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his
wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the
river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and
asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with
Mallika Sherawat. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth !"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It
is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to
Mallika Sherawat, You would have come up with Bipasha
Basu. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come
up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have
given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not
able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I
said yes to Mallika Sherawat."

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable
reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE
HONOURABLE MEN !!!!!!"

Relation2

2008-02-06T05:20:00.032-08:00

That’s Love

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous ....then it's not love .. it's *"Infatuation"*

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't ... then it's not love.. it's *"Compromise"*

If you love some one because you have been kissed by him ... then it's not love.. it's *"Inferiority complex"*

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings .. then it's not love .. it's *"Charity"*

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ... then it's not love... it's *"Friendship"*

BUT...
If you feel the pain of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him ... that's *"LOVE"*

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's *"LOVE"*

If you let him go knowing that he has to go but he doesn't want to ... that's *"LOVE"*

Relation20

2008-02-06T05:20:00.031-08:00

If girls were programmed in C by god...

Their structures wud look like this....

struct female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
};

struct beautiful_city_girl
{
double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;
};

struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
};

struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
};

struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
};

struct old_lady
{
double chin;
short memory;
long sighs;
void attention_from_men;
char chatterbox;
};

struct husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making;
};

Relation45

2008-02-06T05:20:00.029-08:00

A beautiful story

a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist
in DesMoines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Relation34

2008-02-06T05:20:00.027-08:00

GIFT

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how the trip was?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl!!!"

Relation38

2008-02-06T05:20:00.025-08:00

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents ) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.

Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix .... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.

Relation35

2008-02-06T05:20:00.023-08:00

Ishq mein aisa kyun hota hai?

Ishq mein itna dard kyun hota hai

Aankhein hansti hain par dil kyun rota hai

Inkaar mein bhi ikraar kyun lagta hai

Nafrat mein bhi pyar kyun lagta hai

Ishq mein aisa kyun hota hai?

Koi begaana itna apna kyun lagta hai

Har fasaana ek sapna kyun lagta hai

Har lamha kisika deedar kyun hota hai

Dushman par bhi aetbaar kyun hota hai

Ishq mein aisa kyun hota hai?

Raatein itni haseen kyun lagti hain

Duniya itni rangeen kyun lagti hai

Jeene mein itna mazaa kyun aata hai

Kyun andhere mein bhi ujaala cha jaata hai

Ishq mein aisa kyun hota hai?

Sitaaron se dil baatein kyun karta hai

Koi kisi par itna kyun marta hai

Koi kisi se itna kyun rooth jaata hai

Kyun ishq mein yeh dil hamesha toot jaata hai

Ishq mein aisa kyun hota hai?

Relation31

2008-02-06T05:20:00.021-08:00

Heart touching love story specially for boys. Now u can understand if u r leaving ur friend for d girl it means u r going to make d biggest mistake.

Don't do anything for d girls no matters how much she loves u…

A SHORT LOVE STORY:

There was a Blind Gurl

WhO Hate Herself

cOz Of being Blind.

She Hate every1

Except her Boy friend..

1 day de Gurl said

that if She can

Only c the wOrld

she will marry her bOyfriend,

One day sOme1

dOnated eyes On her

& then she saw Every thing

including her bOyfriend ,

her bOyfriend ask her,

"nOw that u can c ,

will u Marry Me?",

the girl was shOcked when

she saw her bOyfriend

is alsO Blind,

& she refuse tO Marry him.

Her bOyfriend walk away

with Tears & said,

" just take care Of

my eyes dear.

Relation28

2008-02-06T05:20:00.019-08:00

A husband goes to his doctor and complains that his wife is getting deaf.

The doctor asks him to confirm and convince himself before getting his wife over to the doctor.

The husband goes home and finds his wife is cooking dinner in the kitchen.

He goes and stands 20 feet behind her and asks her, "What are we having for Dinner?" No Answer.

He walks another 5 feet towards his wife and asks her the same question again. No answer.

He moves even further and is 1 feet away from his wife and asks, " What are you cooking for dinner?" No answer.

Almost convinced , he finally walks very close to his wife and standing next to her asks the same question again.

The wife says.....

"This is the fourth time I am telling you , I am cooking Chicken........"

Relation24

2008-02-06T05:20:00.017-08:00

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents ) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.

Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix .... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.