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Knowing makes us different !!!
A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one
expert after another, but none of them could figure but
how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships
since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with
him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He
inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man,
hoping he would know what to do. After looking things
over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a
small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine
lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine
was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man
for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us
an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer....................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap.......................... $ 9,998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort
makes all the difference!
Headlines dated on 1st January 2020:
1. President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister
Priyanka Gandhi went Italy to meet Italian
president Rahul Gandhi
2. Dhoom-17 is ready to release
3. I will play the next world cup-----------
Sachin
4. Salmaan khan, hrithik and abhishek attended
Aish 5th wedding
5. Petrol 1 litre------------Rs.999 only.
The main causes of Liver Damage are -
1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring , and artificial sweetener.
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
> Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.
We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to "schedule."
Because -
* Evening at 9 - 11 PM : is the time for eliminating unnecessary/ toxic chemicals (detoxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a negative impact on health.
* Evening at 11pm - 1 am: is the detoxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.
* Early morning 1 - 3 am: detoxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.
* Early morning 3 - 5 am: detoxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the detoxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.
* Morning 5 - 7am: detoxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.
* Morning 7 - 9 am: absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time.
* Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30 am, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30 am is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast late until 9 - 10 am rather than no meal at all.
* Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing unnecessary chemicals.
* Aside from that, midnight to 4:00 am is the time when the bone marrow produces blood.
* Therefore, have a good rest and don't take rest late.
SQL logics of day
SELECT happiness, prosperity FROM life WHERE year > = 2007 ;
UPDATE life SET failure_flag = "NO" , success_flag = "YES";
INSERT INTO life VALUES ("friends","dreams") ;
DELETE sorrows FROM life;
GRANT smile TO all ;
REVOKE enemity FROM all;
ALTER TABLE life ADD dreams CHAR(INFINITY);
GOOD DAY
Greatness of Sardarji's
"Hello friends!! Well, one of my friend , Sudhanshu told me the following incident which I wish to share with you. It has had a deep impact on my thinking.
In the diwali vacation, my friend and couple of his friends had gone to Delhi.
They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Sudhanshu and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man. But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed.
At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),
''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have just one request. Here I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this city."
Sudhanshu continued," That one rupee coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi."
Friends, we all love sardar jokes. But the fact of matter is that Sikhs are one of the most prosperous and diversified communities in the world.
The secret behind their universal success, according to me, is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, but he will never beg on the streets.
Cheerz to all my Sikh Brothers and hats off to them.
*Ultimate truth
( Uncanny-but true !) *
*Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. *
------------------------------
*
To Err is human, to forgive is **not** a COMPANY policy. *
------------------------------
*
The road to success??.. Is always under construction. *
------------------------------
*
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does
Milk. *
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*
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. *
------------------------------
*
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
*
------------------------------
*
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you
hear them speak. *
------------------------------
*
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works. *
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*
If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. *
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*
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down,
it will always land on the buttered side. *
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*
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible
corner. *
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*
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is
bad, it happens. *
------------------------------
*
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule. *
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*
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still
late. *
------------------------------
*
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold
somewhere else at a cheaper rate. *
------------------------------
*
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front
of you will always have the most complex of transactions. *
------------------------------
*
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have
paper?? if you have both, no one calls. *
------------------------------
*
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance. *
------------------------------
*
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming. *
------------------------------
*
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
*
------------------------------
*
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in
together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. *
------------------------------
*
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight. *
------------------------------
*
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will
always tend to go to the non-smoker *
- Brain Damaging Habbits -
1. No Breakfast -
> People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. Overeating -
> It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.
3. $moking -
> It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption -
> Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution -
> The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation -
> Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping -
> Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. Working your brain during illness -
> Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts -
> Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.
10. Talking Rarely -
> Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.
What is confidence ????
A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and are told
that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature
pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is
then told, privately, that their company's software is running the
aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the
aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.
One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies : "If it is
the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even
take off." !!!!
True friendship
true friendship................... friendship never
has a volume it never demands proofs it
also never has a happy ending simply b'coz it
never ends as frnds r true.................
khuda ka diya bahute kimati tihfa hain khuda ise
dubara nahi dehta.............
be
with ur friend till the endest moment of ur
life..........................................
Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind ... but
we give different,
tailored and suitable answers to the guy !
1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you
called me now.
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I
don't have any
specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation...
5. What is your biggest strength?
Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well,
without thinking of
the fate of company
6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from
it?
Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump
to get more
money, so I am here today
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most
proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need
to change my job?
I could demand more and stay there.
9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you
looking for a
change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome
that.
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your earlier job
11. What do you want from this job?
If no work is given but keep giving good hikes
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to
achieve them?
Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for
every 2 yrs
13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of
us?
Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through
your website
14. What is the salary expected and how do justify that?
Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence,
give me 20% extra
than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry
standard
(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have
already hiked my
current salary by 30%)
- Brain Damaging Habbits -
1. No Breakfast -
> People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. Overeating -
> It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.
3. $moking -
> It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption -
> Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution -
> The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation -
> Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping -
> Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. Working your brain during illness -
> Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts -
> Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.
10. Talking Rarely -
> Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.
One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?".
Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.
His dad told him Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie", " Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments", Splatt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
" No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen." Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Kuttappans mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" ( After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappans mothers face.
Tomorrow can be too late
The Message is really nice!!! If
you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still
wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be
too late.
you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too
late.
If
you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And
if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too
late.
If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask
for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If youreally have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go
far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you
love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do
it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.
SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT, INCLUDING THE ONE
WHO SENT IT TO YOU. YOU'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW
Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too
late...
A List of 64 kind of Arts Followed by Ancient People
The Sixty-four Arts
1. Toilet Make-up, toilet and use of beautifying agents
2. Painting the body, and colouring the nails, hair, etc.
3. Decoration of the forehead.
4. Art of hair dressing. Dressing
5. Art of dressing.
6. Proper matching of decorations and jewellery. Music and Dancing
7. Singing.
8. Playing on musical instruments.
9. Playing on musical glasses filled with water.
10. Acting.
11. Dancing. General Education
12. Good manners and etiquette.
13. Knowledge of diffenrent langguages and dialects.
14. Knowledge of vocabularies.
15. Knowledge of Rhetoric or Figures of Speech.
16. Reading.
17. Reciting poems.
18. Criticism of poems.
19. Criticism of dramas and analysis of stories.
20. Filling up the missing line of a poem. 21.
Composing poems to order.
22. Reply in verse (when one person recites a poem, another gives the
reply in verse).
23. The art of speaking by changing the forms of words.
24. Art of knowing the character of a man from his features.
25. Art of attracting others (bewitching). Domestic Science
26. Art of cooking.
27. Preparation of different beverages, sweet and acid drinks,
chutneys, etc.
28. Sewing and needle work.
29. Making of different beds for different purposes and for different
seasons. Physical culture 30. Physical culture.
31. Skill in youthful sports.
32. Swimming and water-sports. Games
33. Games of dice, chess, etc.
34. Games of chance.
35. Puzzles and their solution.
36. Arithmetical games. Art of Entertaining
37. Magic: art of creating illusions.
38. Trick of hand.
39. Mimicry or imitation (of voice or sounds).
40. Art of disguise. Fine Arts
41. Painting in colours.
42. Stringing flowers into garlands and other ornaments for
decorating the body, such as crowns, clapnets, etc.
43. Floral decorations of carriages.
44. Making of artificial flowers.
45. Preparation of ear-rings of shell, ivory, etc.
46. Making birds, flowers, etc., of thread or yarn.
47. Clay-modelling: making figures and images.
48. The art of changing the appearance of things such as
making to appear as silk. Pet Animals
49. Training parrots and other birds to talk.
50. Training rams and cocks and other birds for mock fight.
Professional Training
51. Gardening and agriculture.
52. Preparation of perfumery.
53. Making furniture from canes and reeds.
54. Wood-engraving.
55. Carpentry.
56. Knowledge of machinery.
57. Construction of building (Architecture).
58. Floor decoration with coloured stones.
59. Knowledge of metals.
60. Knowledge of gems and jewels.
61. Colouring precious stones.
62. Art of war.
63. Knowledge of code words.
64. Signals for conveying messages.
Tomorrow can be too late
The Message is really nice!!! If
you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still
wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be
too late.
[FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc)] If
you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too
late.
If
you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And
if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too
late.
If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask
for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
[FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc)] If you
really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go
far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you
love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do
it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.
SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT, INCLUDING THE ONE
WHO SENT IT TO YOU. YOU'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW
Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too
late...
Tomorrow can be too late
The Message is really nice!!! If
you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still
wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be
too late.
you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too
late.
If
you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And
if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too
late.
If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask
for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If youreally have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go
far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you
love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do
it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.
SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT, INCLUDING THE ONE
WHO SENT IT TO YOU. YOU'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW
Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too
late...
Birth Test
Let me know your number. Once you have discovered your Birth Number, forward this email to the rest of your friends, including the one who sent this to you. Put your "number" in the "Subject" and Pass it on! Have fun!
Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.
A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.
Example : March 20, 1950 3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2
2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.
#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER
===========================================================
# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR
1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn
some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.
Famous 1's : Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch, Samuel L. Jackson
#2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2's : President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Orlando Bloom, David Beckham
# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it.
They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.
Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster, LL Cool J
# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE
4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.
Famous 4's : Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey
# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.
Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, Mark Hamil, Colin Farrell, Scott Speedman
# 6 - THE ROMANTIC
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn, Salma Hayek
#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.
Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Joan Baez, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp, Shah Rukh Khan ,Ankur srivastava
# 8 - THE BIG SHOT
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.
Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, Jack Davenport, Michelle Rodriguez, PURNESH MARDIA
#9 - THE PERFORMER
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean!)
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only
****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed
appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked
with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem
in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I
request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request
you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so
that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to
collect ur
money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?
( A tribute to all Software Engineers !!! )
Apne Project ke bojh tale dabaa ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Zindagi se hara hua hai,
Par "Bugs" se haar nahi manta,
Apne application ki ek ek line isne rati hui hai,
Par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain, ye nahi jaanta,
Din par din ek excel sheet banata ja raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Dus hazar line ke code me error dhoond lete hain lekin,
Majboor dost ki aankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,
PC pe hazaar windows khuli hain,
Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti,
Satuday-Sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala,
Bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho gayi,
Kitabon me gulab rakhne wala , cigarette ke dhuen me kho gaya,
Dil ki zameen se armaano ki vidayi ho gayi,
Weekends pe daroo peke jo jashn mana raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Maze lena ho iske to poochh lo,
"Salary Increment" ki party kab de rahe ho,
Hansi udana ho to pooch lo,
"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?
Wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Kharche bad rahe hain,
Baal kam ho rahe hain,
KRA ki date ati nahi,
Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,
Lo phir se bus chhoot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Pizza gale se nahi utarta,
To "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,
Office ki "Thaali" dekh muh banata hai,
Maa ke haath ka khana use roz yaad aata hai,
"Sprout Bhel" bani hai phir bhi, Free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiyan,
Software engineer ke jivan ka sach batati ye aakhri kuch panktiyan,
Hazaron ki tankhwah wala, Company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,
Software engineer wahi ban sakta hai, Jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,
Hum log jee jee ke marte hain , Zindagi hai kuch aisi,
Ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engineer ki ,
Dono ek jaisi,
Is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai.
Tomorrow can be too late
The Message is really nice!!! If
you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still
wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be
too late.
you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too
late.
If
you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And
if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too
late.
If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask
for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If youreally have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go
far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you
love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do
it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.
SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT, INCLUDING THE ONE
WHO SENT IT TO YOU. YOU'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW
Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too
late...
Tomorrow can be too late
The Message is really nice!!! If
you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still
wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be
too late.
you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love
with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too
late.
If
you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And
if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too
late.
If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask
for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If youreally have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go
far away today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you
love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do
it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel.
That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow
can be too late.
SEND THIS MAIL TO EVERY PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT, INCLUDING THE ONE
WHO SENT IT TO YOU. YOU'LL SEE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW
THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW
Forward it today... coz tomorrow can be too
late...
???? L O V E ????
Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love?
Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smile to each other."
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
"You can break love, but it won't die."
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsome then Robert Redbird."
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Solid story baap
bahut serious story hai ..pad kar aankhon mein pani aa
jaayega
ekdum....mumbaiyya.....ishtyle..
Julie aur Sulie do ben log rehta hai. Ben log
maane.........judwaa.
Lekin dono main fark bole to soli d. Julie ekdum Smart,
bole to jhakaas rapchik piece aur Sulie bole to
ekdum halki re.
To kya hota hai maloom Sulie thee bachpan se,
woh kya bolte hain usko..Stubborn ..bole to ekdam yedi,
jiddi.... rehti hai.
To julie jo bhi maangti hai na...Sulie ko woh maangta-ich
hai.
Julie ko gudiya mili to Sulie ko bhi maangta tha...
Julie ko kangan mila to Sulie ko bhi mangta hai....
Aisa karte karte bees saal guzar gaya.
To na, Julie ka shaadi ekdum karodpati ! ladka ke saath hota hai.
Aur Sulie ek fatichar funtoosh se shaadi banatha hai.
Shaadi ke baad Julie Fridge leti hai baap. Sulie bhi pati
se fridge maangtihai.
Pati salla bechara garibmanus.Lekin biwi ko khush karne ke waaste
woh Fridge khareed le ta hai.
Abhi Julie agle mahine Air Conditioner khareed dalti hai.
Sulie bhi jidd karti hai baap. Kya Bolti Malum: AC nahin
liya to khud ko tapka daloongi.
Pati bechara aur paise markeet se udhaar leta hai aur AC
khareed leta hai......! ..
Ab Julie car khareedti hai. Suliebhi jidd karti hai.
Pati ka dimaag satak-ta hai lekin phir bhi saala karega kya,
baap ka zameen bech dalta hai aur gaadi khareedta hai.
Thode dinon ke baad Julie gaadi bech ke bus khareedti hai.
Sulie bhi jidd karti hai....
Abhi pati solid bhadakta hai baap.
Bolta hai "Ae item, ab dhimaag ka dahi mat bana..bahut ho
gaya tera natak. Abhi apun tera ek nahin sunega. Apun jaa
rahel! a hai kya, yeda samjha hai kya, To Sulie ko shorke
woh chala jaata hai.
Sulie lekin apni gaadi bechkar aur paisa market se uthakar
bus khareed leti hai......
To Julie aur Sulie apne apne bus main Ek din picnic ko
jaata hai. Bus ko park karke ! woh log ghoomne phirne ko jaata
hai. Wapas aake dekhta hai to saala dono bus main steering
wheel gaayab,seat gaayab, gear gaayab...sab kuch ghayab!!
Sulie julie ko dekhti hai aur kuch to bolti hai...........
Abhi Ekdum simple koschan: Sulie Julie ko
kya bolti hai??
* * Ye tu bhol-na * * * * *
* * * Abe soch...... * * *
* * * dhimag kaam nahi kar rehla hai kya? *
* *
* * * Haar maan gaya kya??? * * *
* * * Accha chal bolich dalta hoon:! * * *
" NA KUCH TERE BUS MEIN JULIE........ NA KUCH MERE BUS
MEIN..."
ae bhidu log, apun ko gaali nahi dene ka kya ?,
aur apun ke upar gussa nai karne ka? Apun ko bhi kisi ne
yeh bhej kar apna bheja kharab kiya hai. Tere ko lage to
tu bhi kisi ka bheja kharab kar. par apun
kanahi............samja kya.........!!!.
chal ab nikal kya !!!!
eh abi bhola na............saal samajta nahin...
The Best Thought Experiments: Schr?dinger's Cat, Borel's Monkeys
1. Galileo's balls
Contrary to what your teachers told you, Galileo Galilei likely did not drop balls from the Tower of Pisa; he conducted the gravity experiment in the laboratory of his mind. His 16th-century peers believed heavier objects fell faster than light ones. So Galileo imagined a heavy ball attached by a string to a light ball. Would the light ball create drag and slow the heavy one down? Nope, he concluded, they would hit the ground simultaneously.
2. Schr?dinger's cat
A cat is trapped in a box with radioactive material, a Geiger counter, and a mechanism rigged to release poison if particle decay is detected. According to Erwin Schr?dinger, the cat exists in two probable states. But that doesn't track with reality (cats are not both alive and dead). Proposed in 1935, the postulate illustrates that some quantum concepts just don't work at nonquantum scales. Also that Schr?dinger was a dog person.
3. Searle's room
A man sits alone in a room. Someone slips paper with Chinese writing on it under the door. The man doesn't read Chinese, but with a set of instructions he's able to manipulate the symbols and respond. To an observer, the man appears to understand the language. Philosopher John Searle devised the scenario in 1980 to make a point about computers. CPUs, like his man, lack comprehension and thus can't have humanlike intelligence.
4. Hawking's turtles
The 1988 book A Brief History of Time begins with the story of a scientist giving a lecture on astronomy. At the conclusion of his talk, a woman insists he's wrong: Earth is a flat plate carried on the back of a giant turtle. The scientist asks what the turtle is standing on, and the woman says, "It's turtles all the way down!" Stephen Hawking used the story to caution fellow cosmologists against piling one unproven theory upon another.
5. Einstein's light beam
When he was 16, Albert Einstein daydreamed about chasing after a beam of light until he caught up to it. At that point, young Einstein reasoned, the light wave would appear frozen. The problem: This was impossible according to the thinking back in 1895. Somehow, this little glitch led Einstein right to the theory of special relativity. Lost? Don't worry. Physicists still debate exactly how this mental exercise got him there.
6. Borel's monkeys
Variations go back to Aristotle, but the modern version of the infinite-monkey theorem was introduced in 1913 by French mathematician ?mile Borel. You know the deal: An infinite number of monkeys pecking at typewriters for an infinite length of time will "almost surely" produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Seems unlikely, because our minds have a hard time grasping the infinite. Mathematically, it's true.
7. Maxwell's demon
In 1867, James Clerk Maxwell pictured two chambers, A and B, each filled with gas at the same temperature and with a door between them. Theorists later had a demon open the door (without doing any work) to let the fastest-moving molecules pass from A into B, and the slowest from B to A. Over time, the speed of the atoms (and therefore the temperature) increases in B ? a violation of the second law of thermodynamics.
8. Parfit's teleporter
Philosopher Derek Parfit is famous for basing thought experiments on sci-fi. In 1984, he envisioned a teleporter malfunction, like the one that made two James T. Kirks in an episode of Star Trek. Teleporters annihilate every particle in you, then rebuild them from scratch. What happens if the original isn't destroyed? Which is the real you? Parfit says both. Evil Kirk would disagree.
HI??????..
What did u think of me when u first saw me :
Very talkative, adamant, loving, harsh, silent, moody , shy, soft, beautiful, short tempered, handsome, naughty, ugly, good character, bold, innocent, quick witted, patient, hard to understand,?. ?
Send this to all and know urself about what they thought when they first saw u ..
Fill this out about me (then send it back to me)*BUT FIRST* Send a
Blank Copy To All Of Your Friends ( So They Can Fill It Out About You! Got It??
BE HONEST
1. My name:
2. Where did we meet?:
3. How long have you known me?:
4. How well do you know me (a lot, not so much, nothing)?:
5. When you first saw me what was your first impression?
6. Mi birthday?: [compulsory field]
7. Color Hair?:
8. Color eyes?:
9. Do you remember the first things I said to you when we first met?
10. What ? s my fav type of music?:
11.What ? s one of my fav things to do outdoors?:
12. Am I shy or outgoing?
13. Would you consider me a friend?:
14. Have you ever seen me cry? If yes, when?:
15. If there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?
16.I had broccoli stuck on my teeth, would you tell me?
AM I ??? . ?!?!?!?
17. Quiet or loud?
18. Short or Tall:
19.Weird or original:
20. Smart or stupid?
21. Boring or Fun?
22. Attractive or Unattractive?
DO YOU THINK I'M... (yes or no, if u wanna say something extra say it)
23.A psycho?
24.Athlethic?
25. A nerd?
26. Two-faced?
27.Immature?
28. Mature?
JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS
29. What is the worst thing about me?
30. When is my birthday?
31. Who is my best friend?
32. What song(if any)reminds you of me?
33. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
34. If you could rename me, what would my name be?
35. A feature that you like about me as a person:
36. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
37. If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?
38. What word do I say all the time?
39. Is there anything you ? d like to say to me?
THANKS!!! DON ? T FORGET TO SEND IT BACK TO ME!!!
"WO DEKHO SOFTWARE ENGINEER JAA RAHA HAI"
(A tribute to all Software Engineers!!!)
Apne Project ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
zindagi se hara hua hai, par "Bugs" se haar nahi manata,
Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,
par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain , ye nahi janata,
din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain lekin, majboor dost
ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,
pc pe hazaar windows khuli hain, par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi
nahi deti,
satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Coding karte karte pata hi nahi chala, bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se
high ho gayi,
kitabon main gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya,
dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi,
weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
maze lena ho iske to pooch lo,
"Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho,
hansi udana ho to pooch lo,
"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?
wo dekho onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
kharche badh rahe hain, baal kam ho rahe hain,
KRA ki date ati nahi, Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,
lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
Pizza gale se nahi utarta, to "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai,
office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,
maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai,
"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chuttiyan,
Software engg. ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan,
hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,
software engg. wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,
hum log jee jee ke marte hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi,
ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engg. ki , dono ek jaisi,
is kavita ka har shabd dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai,
Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,
HATS OFF TO THE GUY WHO HAS WRITTEN THIS!!!!!!!!
BRAVOOOOOOOOOOO
Jo......
Ho.... Gaya.....
Wo.... Ho.... Gaya.....
Jo.....
Hona.... Hoga....
Wo.... Hoga....
Aur .....Jo
Nahi... Hona... Hai
Wo.... Nahi.... Hoga....
Kyunki... Jo...
Hona.... Hai...
Wo... To..
Hoga... Hi.... Hoga....
Ab... Dekhna.... Hai....
Ki.... Kya....
Hoga.....?...
Aur....
Kya....Nahi....
Hoga....
Hone.... Ko.... To...
Kuch..... Bhi.....
Hoga....
Yahi.... Sochna.... Hai....
Ki... Kya...
Hoga......?
Aur..... Kya... Hoga....
Agar...
Kuch..... Hoga.... To.....
Theek... Hoga....
Aur....
Nahi.... Hoga....
To.... Bhi...
Theek.... Hoga....
Theek... Hoga... To....
Kis... Kaaran.. Se....
Hoga....
Aur....
Kaaran... Hi....agar...
Theek....Nahi... Hoga...
To.... Kuch..
Kaisey... Theek.... Hoga.....?...
Ab.... Aap.... Batao.... Keh...
Aagey.....
Kya... Hoga?....
Kisi....
Aur....
Ko...
Bhejiega,....
Acchha....
Time.... Pass....Hoga.....
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise
happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or
offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be
at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home
before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for
him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive
this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy.
Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily
appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes
into 18. Don't wait up."
Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye...
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye....
Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main...phir Rikshaa kar lenge..
Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge..
Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng
maara
abbbbe oyeee phir kya hua
Bakri ne bhi bakre Ko seeng maar diya
Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,
.....
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)
Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye.
Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye.
Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye.
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita
Aaj! aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!
aasman mein char tare
aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare
[
Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya
What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0
Dear Tech Support Team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0 , BeerWithBuddies 7.5 , and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall ' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
"A Troubled User "
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that people complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) ..
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application " Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWith Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support ....
NICKNAMES: If Reena, Meena, Teena , Mona go out for lunch, they will call each other Reena, Meena, Teena and Mona But if Ram, Shyam, Rohit , Sumit go out for drinks, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in Rs 20 bills, even though it's only for Rs 22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than anything Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
