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Little Love [touching story]
Little Love [touching story] What Love is?
The story begins like this...
'How long will you be poring over that newspaper? Will you
come here right away and make your darling daughter eat her
food?'
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only
daughter Sindu looked frightened. Tears were welling up in her
eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with
Curd Rice.
Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She
has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd
Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe
firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice!
I cleared my throat, and picked up the bowl. "Sindu,
darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd
Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear. And, if you don't, your
Mom will shout at me.'
I could sense my wife's scowl behind my back. Sindu
softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her
hands. 'OK, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the
whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated.
'Dad, if I eat this entire Curd Rice, will you give me
whatever I ask for?'
'Oh sure, darling'.
'Promise?'
'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my
daughter with mine, and clinched the deal.
'Ask Mom also to give a similar promise', my daughter
insisted. My wife slapped her hand on sindu's, muttering
'Promise', without any emotion.
Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindumma, you shouldn't
insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items.
Dad does not have that kind of money right now. OK?'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and
painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently
angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eat
something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her
eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her. 'Dad, I
want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her
demand!
'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'a girl child having her head
shaved off? Impossible!'.
'Never in our family!' my mother rasped. 'She has been
watching too much of television. Our culture is getting
totally spoiled with these TV programs!'
'Sindumma, why don't you ask for something else? We will
be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything else', Sindu said with
finality.
'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our
feelings?' I tried to plead with her.
'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd
Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me
whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words.
Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and
its moral that we should honour our promises no matter
what?'
It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be
kept.'
'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.
'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn
to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and
her eyes looked big & beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a
sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her
classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with
a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted,
'Sinduja, please wait for me!'
What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be,
that is the in-stuff', I thought.
'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without
introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and
continued, 'That boy who is walking along with your
daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from ... leukaemia.'
She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not attend
the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all
his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He
refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional
but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him
last week, and promised him that she will take care of the
teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice
her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you and your
wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your
daughter.'
I stood transfixed. And then, I wept. 'My little Angel,
will you grant me a boon? Should there be another birth for me,
will you be my mother, and teach me what Love is?'
Try This one
P lace your mouse on the K below and drag to the R .
Kaam Kar KaamchoR
Please forward this to everyone you know .
====
SURVEY WORD BY WORD... EXCELLENT
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions
to the shortage of food in rest of the world".
The survey was a huge failure..... ... Do you know WHY?
* In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
* In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
* In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
* In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
* In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'
meant.
* In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
* And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the
world' meant.
3 Questions abt God!!!!
message: There was a young man who went overseas to study for quite a
long time. When he returned, he asked his parents to find him a
religious scholar or any expert who could answer his 3 Questions.
Finally, his parents were able to find a scholar.
Young man: Who are you? Can you answer my questions?
Scholar: I am one of God willing, I will be able to answer your
questions.
Young man: Are you sure? A lot of Professors and experts were not able
to answer my questions.
Scholar: I will try my best, with the help of God .
Young Man: I have 3 questions:
1. Does God exist? If so, show me His shape.
2. What is fate?
3. If Devil was created from the fire, why at the end he will be thrown
to hell that is also
created from fire. It certainly will not hurt him at all, since Devil
and the hell were created from fire. Did God not think of it this far?
Suddenly, the Scholar slapped the young man's face very hard. Young
Man(feeling pain): Why do you get angry at me?
Scholar: I am not angry. The slap is my answer to your three questions.
Young Man: I really don't understand.
Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?
Young Man: Of course, I felt the pain.
Scholar: So do you believe that pain exists?
Young Man: Yes.
Scholar: Show me the shape of the pain!
Young Man: I cannot.
Scholar: That is my first answer. All of us feel God's existence
without being able to see His shape... Last night, did you dream that you
will be slapped by me?
Young Man: No.
Scholar: Did you ever think that you will get a slap from me, today?
Young Man: No.
Scholar: That is fate my second answer........ My hand that I used to
slap you, what is it created from?
Young Man: It is created from flesh.
Scholar: How about your face, what is it created from?
Young Man: Flesh.
Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?
Young Man: In pain.
Scholar: Thats it. this is my third answer, Even though Devil and also
the hell were created from the fire, if God wants,God willing , the
hell will become a very painful place for devil.
God said: "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you."
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. ( Practical )
Teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
*My Dearest *,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
----------------------------------------------------
*(1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me
because:*
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
----------------------------------------------------
*2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me
because:*
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
----------------------------------------------------
*3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing because:*
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
----------------------------------------------------
*4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you
hide it because:*
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
----------------------------------------------------
*5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and
you took only my friend's because:*
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
----------------------------------------------------
*6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...*
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
----------------------------------------------------
*7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:*
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
------------------------------ ----------------------
*8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose
on your head because:*
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
----------------------------------------------------
*9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00
A.M because:*
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
----------------------------------------------------
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. *Don't delay in
expressing it.*
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's
getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in
confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
*Love* ,
Her's reply letter was also in *Q/A format *........
* *,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
----------------------------------------------------
*1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,
sees them. *
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop
singing or not?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.*
*You poked your nose inside..... Right ?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand
yet?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it
true ?*
(a) Yes (b) No
----------------------------------------------------
*9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple.* I come
daily to Temple* . Do you know ?
*
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
*Hope everything is clear to you* .
A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.
The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?
Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................
..
...
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scroll down further
Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?
Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.
The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.
While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.
"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."
Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.
Jokes With Reality
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man
tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to
him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all
your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a
forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we
should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we
will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will
LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing
in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -
Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is
built for" - Albert Einstein
Usually we do not comment on issues, but sometimes on contrary a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally ,
the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, cricket, the shotgun formation
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
UR Smile is So Important
A smile is the light in your window that
tells others that there is a caring, sharing person
inside.
Life is short but a smile takes barely a second.
Every tear has a smile behind it.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the
back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of
yours.
A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A
chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts
forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.
Too often we underestimate the power of a smile, which
have the potential to turn a life around.
Smiles are the language of love.
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from
distress, and grows brave by reflection.
A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks
All people smile in the same language.
Children smile on the average 400 times /day;
Adults: 15 times /day. Ever wonder why?
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
If I thought that a smile of mine, might linger the whole
day through and lighten some heart with a heavier part,
I'd not withhold it -- Would you? ??
Smile becoz God gave Human this beautiful gift - A
Smile....I sometimes wonder do animals have this beautiful
gift of smiling???
Smile, not becoz it costs you or not, but because you can
make someone smile and make their day
So Smileeeeeee please :-)) ...... Hmmm... Good, looks very
good, infact suits you the best :-)
PESSIMISTS...
Story
There was a hunter who bought an amazing bird dog.
This one-of-a-kind dog could walk on water.
The hunter was looking forward to showing off his new
acquisition to his friends.
He invited a friend to go duck hunting.
After some time, they shot a few ducks and the man ordered
his dog to fetch the birds.
All day long, whenever there were birds to be fetched, the
dog ran on water to retrieve the birds.
The owner was expecting his friend to comment or
compliment him about this amazing dog, but never got one.
As they were returning home, he asked his friend if he had
noticed anything unusual about his dog.
The friend replied, ?Yes, in fact, I did notice
something unusual. Your dog can?t swim.?
Some people always look at the negative side. They are
referred to as Pessimists.
Characteristics of Pessimists
? Are unhappy when they have no troubles to
speak of
? Feel bad when they feel good, for fear
they will feel worse when they feel better
? Spend most of their life at complaint
counters
? Always turn out the lights to see how dark
it is
? Are always looking for cracks in the
mirror of life
? Stop sleeping in bed when they hear that
more people die in bed than anywhere else
? Cannot enjoy their health because they
think they may be sick tomorrow
? Not only expect the worst but make the
worst of whatever happens
? Don?t see the doughnut, only the hole
? Believe that the sun shines only to cast
shadows
? Forget their blessings and count their
troubles
? Know that hard work never hurts anyone but
believe ?why take a chance??
Caution: Looking for the positive does not necessarily mean
overlooking faults.
Learn to be an Optimist.
Characteristics of Optimists
? Be so strong that nothing can disturb your
peace of mind
? Talk health, happiness and prosperity to
every person you meet
? Make all your friends feel that you
appreciate their good qualities and strengths
? Look at the sunny side of everything
? Think only of the best, work only for the
best, and expect only the best
? Be as enthusiastic about the success of
others as you are about your own
? Forget the mistakes of the past and press
on to the greater achievements of the future
? Give everyone a smile
? Spend so much time improving yourself that
you have no time left to criticize others
? Be too big for worry and too noble for
anger
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHERS AND
SPECIALLY TO PESSIMISTS IF THERE ARE ANY
Contrary Proverbs
All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for none.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free ..
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch ..
Slow and steady wins the race ..
BUT
Time waits for none ..
Look before you leap ..
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot ..
Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.
Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
A friend who will be forever true,
I think somewhere, sometime, I may find
A friend who will be forever true,
With a heart of beautiful eternal love
Maybe it will be somebody new.
I'll imagine a heart so very caring
And a willingness to share,
A delightfully sweet sense of humor
With spontaneous care.
They shall know how to keep a secret
And when to turn to prayer,
Not needing to always chat
But glad to just "be there".
Might I search away in the blue yonder
Or shall I look behind,
I'm feeling such a sweet tickle inside
Someone special is coming to my mind.
Oh then, why should I search so far and wide
For a friend of God's design,
When your heart was prepared before I prayed
Waiting for me, there all the time
*Program to Propose a girl*/
*Program to Propose a girl*/
#include
#include
#include
#include
#define Cute beautiful_lady
main()
{
goto college;
scanf(? ???100%? ??? ,&ladies);
if(lady ==Cute)
line++;
while( !reply )
{
printf(? ???I Love U? ???);
scanf(? ???100%? ??? ,&reply);
}
if(reply == ? ???GAALI? ???)
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */
else if(reply == ? ???SANDAL ? ???)
exit(1);
else if(reply == ? ???I Love U? ???)
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc( sizeof(lover) );
}
goto restaurant;
restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college) ;
}
if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;
cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++
}
}
Gurlz Turn Guyz Down
BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like
yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face
like
yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
Hi all, welcome to the GREEN CITY. A city thats a little distinguished from the rest in India.
Category
Rest ofIndia
Bangalore
Foot path
For pedestrians
For two-wheelers
Autos
Run on Petrol/CNG
Run on Kerosene /LPG
Places where you can fill petrol/Diesel
Petrol Pumps
Petrol Bunks (or Banks)
How do cops stop your vehicle
Wave hand
Stand in front of the moving vehicle
Bribe paid to police if caught without documents
100 Fixed rate
100 normally, 200 or more if you are an IT/Call centre guy.
Worst Enemy
Pakistan
TamilNadu
Most Hated person
Pervez Musharraf
Deve Gowda
Reasons for rioting
Religion/ sacking of cricket player
Water
Favourite pastime of residents
Discussing why politicians suck/ why Sourav was dropped?.
Counting potholes
Front Page news
How their undercover reporters exposed MP's.(Note: Bury the story if your channel/newspaper doesn't have the exclusive).
Reporting number of Potholes especially ones that lie in the way of Mr. Narayan Murthy/ The Prasad Biddappa(who is he?) summer/winter/ monsoon fashion tips.
What News Paper editorials talk about
Is dropping Ganguly good or bad for Indian cricket?.
How closing pubs at 11 affect the IT industry.
English Spoken
With regional accent
With California / New York accent.
Languages Spoken
Hindi/English/ Regional
Every language on the planet.
Reasons for traffic Jams
Cows on the road
Flyover construction/ VIP visiting Infosys/ Infosys buses
Land grabbers
Mafia/Politicians
Software Firms
Historical Sites
Statues/ Buildings/ Temples
Half constructed Flyovers.
Frequent Complaints about Govt Departments
Corrupt/ Lazy etc
Don't have websites, Emails bounce
The Best Moments In Life
--> Falling in Love.
--> Laughing till ur stomach hurts.
--> Enjoying a ride down the country side.
--> Listening to ur fav song on the radio.
--> Goin to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
--> Getting out of the shower n wrapping urself with a warm,fuzzy towel.
--> Passing ur final exams with good grades.
--> Being part of an interesting conversation.
--> Finding money in som old pants.
--> Laughing at urself.
--> Sharing a wonderful dinner with all ur friends.
--> Laughing without a reason.
--> ?Accidentally? hearing someone say sth gud abt u.
--> Watching the sunset.
--> Listening to the song that reminds u of an imp person in ur life.
--> Receiving or giving ur first kiss.
--> Feeling this movement in ur body wen seeing this ?special? someone.
--> Having a grt time with ur friends.
--> Seeing the one u love happy.
--> Wearing the shirt of a person u love n smelling his/her perfume.
--> Visiting an old friend of yours n remembering grt memories.
--> Hearing some telling u ? I LOVE YOU?
Someone Somewhere
Someone
Is very proud of you
Someone
Is thinking of you
Someone
Cares about you
Someone
Misses you
Someone
Wants to talk to you
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Hopes you aren't in trouble
Someone
Is thankful for the support you have
Provided
Someone
Wants to hold your hand
Someone
Hopes everything turns out all right
Someone
Wants you to be happy
Someone
Wants you to find them
Someone
Is celebrating your successes
Someone
Wants to give you a gift
Someone
Think you ARE a gift
Someone
Hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
Someone
Wants to hug you
Someone
Loves you
Someone
Wants to lavish you with small gifts
Someone
Admires your strength
Someone
Is thinking of you and smiling
Someone
Wants to be your shoulder to cry on
Someone
Wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
Someone
Thinks the world of you
Someone
Wants to protect you
Someone
Would do anything for you
Someone
Wants to be forgiven
Someone
Is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone
Wants to laugh with you about old times
Someone
Remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone
Is praising God for you
Someone
Needs to know that your love is unconditional
Somebody
Values your advice
Someone
Wants to tell you how much they care
Someone
Wants to stay up watching old movies with
You
Someone
Wants to share their dreams with you
Someone
Wants to hold you in their arms
Someone
Wants YOU to hold them in your arms
Someone
Treasures your spirit
Someone
Wishes they could STOP time because of
You
Someone
Praises God for your friendship and lov e
Someone
Can't wait to see you
Someone
Wishes that things didn't have to change
Someone
Loves you for who you are
Someone
Loves the way you make them feel
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Is hoping they can grow old with you
Someone
Hears a song that reminds them of you
Someone
Wants you to know they are there for you
Someone
Is glad that you're their friend
Someone
Wants to be your friend
Someone
Stayed up all night thinking about you
Someone
Is alive because of you
Someone
Is remorseful after losing your
Friendship
Someone
Is wishing that you would notice them
Someone
Wants to get to know you better
Someone
Believes that you are their soul mate
Someone
Wants to be near you
Someone
Misses your guidance and advice
Someone
Values your guidance and advice
Someone
Has faith in you
Someone
Trusts you
Someone
Needs you to send them this letter
Someone
Needs your support
Someone
Needs you to have faith in them
Someone
Needs you to let them be your friend
Someone
Will cry when they read this
You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute
That Someone is ur Friend and that something is Friendship
HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file in your PC .
2! . Name it " Boss "
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete
Boss permanently?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse
button firmly....
7. Feel better?
Worth!
Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.
"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but don't think it will be worth it.
Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away."
"The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.
Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.
"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."
"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.
"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead."
"Yes Sir," the soldier answered,
"but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say....
" Jim...I knew you'd come."
*******
Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it.
Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life........
THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi',
which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends,
office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars
if you call the roads by their Indian name,
they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar A Road, Altamount Road .
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the " Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken
Salaam Bombay......
Hi,
Choose a number between 1 and 7 and know what sort of marriage you will be having............
get ready....
think abt the no.
Ok wait now..
u'r sure right????????
don change your mind again......... .....
is it done??????????
Ok here goes the result:
(place the pointer of mouse in front of number u have thought and drag it to right side.)
1. Arranged Marriage
2. No Marriage (Oops!)
3. Love Marriage
4. Love+Arranged Marriage
5. Marriage With Friend
6. You will have more than one marriage(Great!!-Please invite me for all)
7. Y ou'll go against your parents and marry
friendship tune from some one for u
````?'??``?&(";;")&
????????????&);;(&
???????????&(;;;;)&
`````````````)||(
????????????\?=?/
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
?????????????|!!|
??????????)~~)||(~~(
?????????/????||||???\
????????)?????||||????(
???????(/?????||||????\)
????????/??/??)??(??\??\
????????\????((!!))????/
?????????\??((*()*))??/
?????????)????(!!)?``(
?????????/????~?```\
????????/????||||||?```\
???????/?????||||||?????\
?????(\(?????DDDD?????)/)
???????????********?????
???????\(???======???)/
FOR FRIENDSHIP tune!!
Friendship is a collection of hearts, ready 2 give, share and
understand. It never fades & never ends. It only reminds us that
life is not perfect without a friend
The Brick!!! Read It.
Read this today and don't delete it if you are too busy!! You'll see.
THE BRICK
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down
when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown The angry driver
then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against
a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop...." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in....
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Pass this message to seven people except you and me.
You will receive a miracle tomorrow ( just do it)!
=
< ROLES IN HEAVEN>< /U>
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle not Software Development
LifeCycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
PEACE of MIND
Ten Commandments for Peace of Mind
1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too
often in others'
affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced
ourselves that our
way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and
those who do not
conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to
the right
direction, our direction. This thinking denies the
existence of
individuality and consequently the existence of God. God
has created each
one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think
or act in exactly
the same way. All men or women act the way they do because
God within them
prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why
are you
bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep Your
peace.
2. Forgive And Forget.
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often
develop ill
feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or
harms us. We
nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep,
development of
stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury
was done
once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by
constantly
remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the
justice of God
and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him judge the act of the
one who insulted
you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,
Forget, and
march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.
3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise
anybody without
selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are
in power, but
no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your
achievement and
will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill
yourself in
striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth
the
aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the
rest to
God.
4. Do Not Be Jealous.
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace
of mind. You
know that you work harder than your colleagues in the
office, but
sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a
business several
years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor
whose business
is only one year old. There are several examples like
these in everyday
life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life
is shaped by
his or her previous Karma, which has now become his
destiny. If you are
destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you
are not so
destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by
blaming
others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you
anywhere; it will
only take away your peace of mind.
5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.
If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the
chances are you
will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your
environment. As you do
this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to
you, will
mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.
6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an
advantage. Every day
we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations,
and accidents
that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or
change them, we
must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to
endure them
cheerfully thinking, "God wills it so, so be it." God's plan is
beyond
our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of
patience,
inner strength and will power.
7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.
This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often
tend to take more
responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is
done to
satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional
loads that
may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by
expanding your
external activities. Reduce your material engagements and
spend time in
prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce
those thoughts in
your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will
produce greater
peace of mind.
8. Meditate Regularly.
Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing
thoughts. This is the
highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it
yourself. If you
meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind
will tend to
become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and
half-hours. Your
mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You
would benefit by
gradually increasing the period of daily mediation. You may think
that
this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this
will
increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better
results
in less time.
9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions
start in the
vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something
positive, something
worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that
holds your
interest. You must decide what you value more: money or
peace of mind.
Your hobby, like social work or temple work, may not
always earn you more
money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and
achievement. Even
when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in
healthy reading or
mental chanting of God's name.
10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.
Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or
shouldn't I?"
Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that
futile mental
debating. You can never plan enough because you can never
anticipate all
future happenings. Always remember, God has His own plan,
too for you.
Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It
does not
matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your
mistakes and
succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to
nothing.
Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO
NOT REGRET.
Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way.
Take it as the
Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course
of God's Will.
Why cry over spilt milk?
Understand True Meaning of Friendship.......
Last night you and your best friend had a fight.
You decide not to talk to her the next day.
She smiles at you.
You grind your teeth at her.
She tells her friends nice things about you.
You spread bad rumors about her.
She tries to come and talk to you.
But you push her aside.
She thinks you are a great friend.
You think she is a terrible friend.
She writes nice notes to you, telling you about the best times you
shared together. You write about all the bad times you can remember
experiencing together.
Deep down you know she's sorry.
But all you have is hate.
The next day you find a note. It reads:
Dear -------------,
I tried to tell you yesterday, but you didn't let me speak,
I tried to tell you good things,but you were afraid to hear them.
I tried to smile at you, to take away the hate.
But now it's time to tell you, even though it's a bit late. That i am
dying.
I have a bad condition and it is getting worse. I'm sorry to
have to tell you that i won't be able to see you today. I wrote
this to you today in the hospital.
My time is up.
I'm sorry i should have told you sooner.
I'm really sorry about our argument,you are such a great friend.
I promise i shall watch over you,
Lots of love
-------------
You run to the hospital to tell her you are sorry,
But only her mum is left.
Her hand clasped over her face.
And she was crying. Down on her knees she prays, for her daughter to
come back.
You are too late.
You wish you told her sorry sooner and got to say goodbye.
All friends have their ups and downs, and sometimes you need to say
sorry... Don't wait for the other person to do it first.
Because you never know what could happen.
If you really love your friends and would watch down on them when you
pass away, please send this on and show people that you really have a
heart.
'Women...in my life'
I was born,
a woman was there to hold me.......... my
mother
I grew as a child......
a woman was there to care for me.......to play with
me............ my sister
I went to school.....
a woman was there to help me learn...........
my teacher
I became depress, whenever I lost
a woman was there to offer a shoulder............
my wife
I became tough......
a woman was there to melt me............ my
daughter
I am dying
a woman is there to absorb me in.............
my motherland
40 Funny Quotes and Thoughts
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television
in the dark."
"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a
floppy disk to reach a high shelf."
"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes
it sound confusing."
"Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the
first thing you do?Turn out the lights!"
"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."
"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and
kindness, can be trained to do most things."
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone
else."
"When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. "
"It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a
week."
"Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills. Making the last car
payment."
"They've finally come up with the perfect office computer.If it makes a
mistake,it blames another computer."
"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you
hear them speak."
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.But not in that order"
"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a
half."
"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your
children."
"Compatible Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet."
"When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here?"
"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to
use."
"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right
side."
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because
I've done it thousands of times."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished.
"
"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."
"Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted. "
"We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt then
things get worse."
"It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. "
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up
in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office"
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving
early."
"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented
the other three, he was the genius. "
"If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?"
"You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? "
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that
apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what
I am saying."
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by
candlelight."
" Ours was an arranged marriage. It was done the traditional way. Our parents took care of everything. My only condition was that she should be ready to work. Our horoscopes and photos were exchanged. Everything Matched. I spoke to her over the phone. We talked about things two strangers would talk. She was a lecturer in Bangalore who felt Chemistry was more important than Hindi movies. There was no engagement. The date for marriage was fixed in 2 weeks as I could not get a vacation after that. Even the vacation time I got was just 10 days.
Everything was fixed. It was supposed to be very hectic for me. We got married and 2 days later we had to leave the country. She cried like there was no tomorrow when we left. She would not talk to me on the plane. I thought that was usual for an Indian girl. I th! ought she would get over it. Once home she would not talk to me. She sat in a corner staring at the TV. For the first couple of days I had to catch up on some work and did not take her mood seriously.
A week later I sat beside her and asked her, "What is wrong?"
"Why did you bring me here?"
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"I want to go home"
"This is your home"
"No. I want to go home. Please buy me a ticket"
"Look, everybody feels homesick. I did when I! came here the first time. It is normal. You will get over it. Sorry I have been busy with work. We can go out this weekend. You will meet my friends and other people who will be very friendly. Come on be a good girl"
"I hate this place. I miss my family, my friends, my college. All the people I know are not here. I want to go home"
"Think for a minute. Try to reason it out yourself. What is your plan by the way? So you want to go back and never come back?"
"Yes"
"Are you crazy?"
"If you think this is crazy then I am."
"It is ok if you do not answer this question. Is there someone else?"
"No. I want to go home. I will call 911 if you do not send me"
"First cool down. Think about it. Think about our parents. It is less than a month that we got married and now you want to return home. You very well knew that you had to come here. What were you thinking? Even if you are returning home what happens to our marriage?"
"I am not blaming you. I take the blame. It is my mistake. I can't stay so far away from my family. If you are so interested come to India "
"I am family too! What you are asking is ridiculous."
The next day she would not change her mind. I called my folks. They said that it was my decision and! they would stand by me. I booked her ticket and put it in her hand the next evening. She was to leave in 2 days. Nothing would convince her to change her mind. She was crying like a kid. Then she left.
She had done nothing for me to miss but something inside me was telling me that I was at fault. I tried to shake it off but as time grew I started feeling more guilty. I called her. She made it clear that she did not find me despicable but she would not leave her city. Her parents apologized profusely but they were helpless too.
I have had crushes. None of them were serious. There was this girl in my high school tuition whose phone no I managed to find out. Then the prettiest girl in college whom everybody loved, who talked to me once. Then the girl from my city who was at my university in USA who made me feel at home when I visited her place. I had ignored them once! I crossed their paths. But Anjali was my wife. I could not ignore her.
I decided to quit my job. I went home. No one back home knew I was returning. I wanted to surprise her. I dropped off my bags at my place and went to the college she was teaching. The gate keeper would not let me in. So I had to wait outside for the classes to get over.
She walked out alone, struggling to carry her bag, tired, with slow steps. She was walking towards the bus stop. I silently followed her and went behind her and whispered, "Do you mind if I carry your bag?"
She was startled and turned to face me. Her eyes lit up. I was not sure if I could hug her. I was smiling and she had 100 questions written all over her face. "I want to spend a week with you in this city. Show me the things that you could not miss"
That one week went in a jiffy. She was treated a kid at home with all the comforts. That explained her behavior. Coffee was brought to her in the morning. Even her dress was laid out for her. She would have breakfast and leave. The bus journey was an hour. She would sit near the window with a book. Then once in the college she would teach her classes and come out tired in the evening. She would stand in the crowded bus carrying her bag which would look heavy. Then she would alight, go home, have a snack and would head out to a friend's place.
Some times she'd stay home watching TV or listening to music. When her dad returned she would join him and they'd have dinner. Then her mom would tuck her in bed. Weekends were not much different. She would sleep late, wake up for breakfast and lie down talking on the phone. Then she would visit the temple in the evening and would have her singing lessons. Then she would eat out and would! head home late. That was her life. It was something every human being wanted - simple, content and happy. Of course to her I was a villain. I told her that I understood her. I wanted to know if it was ok if she stayed in the same city but away from her parents. Her only condition was that I should not stay at my parent's place to which I agreed.
So we moved into a small apartment. She knew nothing. She had to be taught everything. She learnt. It was hard to make her understand that she had duties and she had a husband. Coffee had to be brought to her in the morning. She made the rules and broke them. She did not care for me. Sometimes she would not return home but go to her parents' place without informing me. I would have had to go bring her back.
Slowly she started realizing about married life. She would wake up before me, try to cook, agree for a movie, visi! t my friend's place, invite me to her college, let me dress her up, dance in front of me, teach me Chemistry, talk about her crushes, play cricket with me, make me cry for a change. She was growing mature day by day. One day she apologized for the whole thing. I brushed it aside. Finally I had her the way I wanted.
Today I am happy and content with my life. She is still there crying to get her things done. I keep reminding her how she had threatened to call the police. She laughs it away. Some times I wonder how life would have been if I had not returned. Then again some things are left as they are.
That's how life is ...
There are two ways of meeting difficulties:
You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them"
How to impress a Girl
- To IMPRESS a GIRL -
C ompliment her
R espect her
H onor her,
Cuddle her,
C aress her,
L ove her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,
H old her,
S pend money on her,
Wine and dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,
Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Go to the ends of the Earth for her.
- How to IMPRESS a BOY -
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.
.
.
.
.
JUST SMILE ONCE AND HE IS YOURS
We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel
things that
really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he
said, because
he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special
day. Last
night he threw me against a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like
a
nightmare, I could n't believe it was real. I woke up this morning
sore and
brused all over. I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers
today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn't Valentine?s Day or any other special
day. Last
night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other
times. If I
leave him, what will I do? How will i take care of my kids?
What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But i know
he must be
sorry because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of
my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only i had
gathered
enough courage to leave him, i would not have gotten flowers
today.......
If you are against domestic abuse, please pass this along to everybody, NOT just
women.
Clever Scrabble (REVISED) !!!!!!!!
This has got to be one of the most clever
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL
DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE
BARA THEDA
When you rearrange the letters:
ARAB DEATH
PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN
MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROO M
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY???
Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn't feeling
too hot that morning anyway.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and
say "Happy Birthday" and probably a present for me.
Forget "Happy Birthday", She didn't even say "Good
Morning".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will
remember".
Children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
I started to the office I was feeling pretty low.
As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said,
"Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I
worked until noon.
Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,
let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said,! " That's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go." We went to lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the
country to a little private place.
We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's
such a beautiful day.
We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at
her apartment,
she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go
change."
"Sure," I excitedly replied. I start getting excited & i
thought today is my lucky day.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes,
she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed
by..........
my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing
"Happy Birthday".
And there I sat... on the couch... naked....!!!!!!
10 ways to stop those credit card sales, idea/hutch/airtel , insurance calls etc ... (no offence plz) :-)
1) After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2) Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3) Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4) Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5) Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6) Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder...louder...louder!
7) Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8) If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............"
9) Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10) Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. - and give him the ICICI call center number.
Women Golfer ( laugh aloud )
Woman Golfer A Woman was out
golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will
grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,
but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your
wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful
woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also
make your husband the most handsome man in the
world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the
most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes
only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in
the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in
the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his
and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she
answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with
them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the
joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down..
...
...
. ..
...
...
...
....
...
..
...
...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but
think they're really smart.
Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only
goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all
the ladies who have a good sense of humor.
AMCHI MUMBAI
A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.
Where lovers first love and then marry,
Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,
Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,
Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!
An Ex-Wife's Revenge
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar,
into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was
bliss for the first few days. Then slowly,
the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning,
mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were
steamed. Air Fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas
canisters, during which they had to move out
for a few days, and in the end even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in
half, they could not find a buyer for their
stinky house. Word got out and eventually
even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were
going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely and said that she missed her old
home terribly, and would be willing to
reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house
back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was,
he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the
house had been worth, but only if she
were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to
their new home....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?????
Poverbs for ur life
A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one
*****************************************************
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday but never remembers her age.
***********************************************************
The old believe everything : the middle age suspect
everything : the young know everything
*************************************************************
An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to
correct it.
*****************************************************************\
*****
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to
become known, then wears dark glass to avoid being
recognized.
*****************************************************************\
************
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty, and
women there happiness.
*****************************************************************\
******************
Money talks, but it doesn't say when it's coming back.
*****************************************************************\
**********************
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more
than cake.
*****************************************************************\
*****************************
The bad thing about a popular song is that it makes a lot
of people think they can sing.
*****************************************************************\
*********************
Consider the mosquito as an example. He rarely gets a slap on
the back until he goes to work.
*****************************************************************\
*******************************
At first we thought the world was flat. Next we decided
that its round. Today we know its crooked
*****************************************************************\
***********************************
There are two days about which nobody should over worry
and these are yesterday and tomorrow.
*****************************************************************
IF A GIRL SAYS YOU ARE...
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
********
For Those Who Are Getting Married and For Those Who Are Married :
Sharing a few thoughts for Would - be grooms
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your
wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that!
Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing
of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from
your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were
to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So
shshshhhhh....!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady
with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement
period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too!
When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged
just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her
birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the
broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being
halved???
Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally
or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift
cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings
expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but
everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!
Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining
about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO!! You
got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm!!
No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now!
Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand
up by them!!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are
grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's
views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more
to make a life with you!!
Sharing thoughts for Would - be Brides. (Don't know
how many will take it in the right sense. But still...)
1. Don't expect too much from him. Less the expectations
lesser the disappointments.
2. Don't ever dare to plan any outing or movie on a day
when there is an interesting cricket match going on.
REMEMBER SPORTS is more important to him
than anything else. U spoil his day n He spoils urs
3. Over Emotions, Sentiments... Woha... What are these?
Tears are not going to give any results either. It's just
a temp. attention tht u get. No one likes Cry Babies m
Whining Wifes.
4. Never dare to cross with his mother.Even if he says "My
Mom's cooking is the best. U are nothing in front of her."
take it easily with a smile. Tell him tht u are learning
from his mother and will try to do it better. U are not gonna
lose anything!
5. Try to know his friends and understand that they are
also part of his world.Allow him to spend few weekends or
occasional night out parties with his friends.But at the
same time make sure that u get u r due importance! It must
not be tht he roams arnd with his friends forgetting that you
exist at home.
6. Don't start fighting for silly things.Forgetting
bthdays n Anniversaries is not a big mistake. Men are not
blessed with 2 GB RAM for storing everything in main
memory.If you are very particular abt present gifts n parties on
u r bthdays n anniversaries.make sure u remind them well
in advance by some means (I know it sounds stupid. But if
u are so particular, Do it for u r own good)
7. Take him for your shopping only if he's interested.If
you are going for Window Shopping or for saree
purchase,Better go with your friends/go alone.He is better
at office/home watching cricket.
8. Give him importance always. Show due care and
affection.Tht's the only way to win a guy's mind.
MCP FCS fights are no more valid after marriage.Trying to
dominate will lead to drastic results.
