Fun273
Common lines after people got drunk?
1. Tu Mera bhai hai?
2. Gaadi mai Chalunga?
3. Abe abhi itni Aur Andar ja sakti hai?
4. Tu bura mat manana bhai?
5. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu?
6. Aaj Chad nahi rahi hai kya bat hai?
7. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai?
8. Ye mat samajh ki piye me bol raha hu?
9. Abe yaar kam to nahi padegi
10. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae?
11. Baap ko mat Sikha.
12. Yaar magar Dil dukha diya yaar?
13. Kuchh bhi hai par Bhai hai Apna?
14. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye?Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???
Fun274
SoFtwAre eNgineers' daily sChedule
8:30AM : wake up
8:45AM : Tough decision ; To bath or not.
8:50AM : Have To.
9:15AM : Punch in.
9:20AM : Check Mail.
9:25AM : Check Again just in case...
9:30AM : Since It is already 9:30 wait for tea(9:45AM ).
9:45AM : TEA party.
10:00AM : Check Mail.
10:05AM : Check again. can't Believe that no mail has come. Is every body dead or what ?
10:20AM : Sudden feeling of loneliness and desperation turn around to look for some body (Any body) to talk to.
10:30AM : Found a guy testing something. Feel real pity for his pathetic, boring and useless existence.
10:40AM : Sudden urge to get some work done and fast. Start looking for the file.(Can't remember it's name)
11:00AM : Boss summons in his office. Bad sign.
11:30AM : How the hell ! am I suppose to remember everything. Why should I be responsible for everything that goes bad.
11:45AM : Try to locate a scapegoat. No body around.
12:00AM : Mood is really bad decide to postpone work till after lunch.
12:30AM : lunch
1:00PM : Lunch over.
1:10PM : Go for a smoke. Can't even smoke in this god forsaken place.
1:35PM : Back from a smoke. It was good. I even did not pay for the cig. the other chap is so foolish.
1:50PM : Mood is good. Decide to go to cool web sites. Real sleazy thoughts.
2:30PM : Feeling real sleepy after such a mammoth mental effort.
2:45PM : Tea Time.
3:00PM : Chat and discuss with colleague on the bad state of the company. Blame everybody for incompetence and laziness.
4:00PM : A guy from testing comes for help.(Jerk)
4:11PM : Try to look busy.
4:12PM : He is asking for a techn! ical help.(Real jerk).
4:15PM : After really making him beg for help decide to take a look.
4:50PM : No solution found. really angry on the guy for getting myself involved.
4:55PM : Suddenly boss is spotted in the neighbouring area. Try make as much loud noise as possible with some obscure technical jargon thrown in.
5:00PM : Boss has gone back to his den. Coast is clear.
5:05PM : Blame the problem on RnD.
5:10PM : Check mail. "Yes" a mail has finally arrived.
5:13PM : It's a silly joke and old too. But it felt good.
5:14PM: a quick dash for gate.
5:15PM : Third in punching out.
5:25PM : Reached Room.
5:26PM : TV on. No worth while program.
8:30PM : Still no worth while program. Every body is getting lazy and irresponsible what will happen to this world GOD help us. Curse
government and RnD.
8:45PM : Food arrives. Pretty bad and stinking.
8:48PM : Dinner finished.
12:45AM : Today there were really good programs.
1:46AM : Decide to sleep. Tough day ahead.
Fun279
Nice jokes
Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Somu : public member or private?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!!
what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the
software.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on
these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether
its pass by value or pass by reference.
PS : ???!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to
me is a software engineer...
Somu : how do u say that?
Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home
address!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the
next cabin must be a farmer before ...
Somu : How do u know...?
Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate
the bit fields..!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante
mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
Somu : How do u say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin
Sea.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time...??
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting
up!
Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check
out!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard
of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star
Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive..
Seetha : how do u say that?
Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got
everything...
The Developer Studio can really do magic...
Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a
cloth?
Somu : clear command is not working properly for my
terminal. that's why?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible
with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :-
Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb
terminals???
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
Soni : right shift or left shift??
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord
yaar. He's harassing me too much.
Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.......
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover
into the floppy drive?
Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Software DT in Heaven
Ramu : hey.. I couldn't send a mail to Hell today... it
says mail "demon" not running...
Somu : ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not
reachable" and bounces back!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Somu : public member or private?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!!
what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the
software.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on
these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether
its pass by value or pass by reference.
PS : ???!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to
me is a software engineer...
Somu : how do u say that?
Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home
address!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the
next cabin must be a farmer before ...
Somu : How do u know...?
Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate
the bit fields..!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue?
Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante
mataram" is new kind of RAM in the market!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
Somu : How do u say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin
Sea.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time...??
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting
up!
Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check
out!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard
of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star
Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive..
Seetha : how do u say that?
Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got
everything...
The Developer Studio can really do magic...
Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a
cloth?
Somu : clear command is not working properly for my
terminal. that's why?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible
with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :-
Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb
terminals???
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now..
Soni : right shift or left shift??
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord
yaar. He's harassing me too much.
Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.......
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover
into the floppy drive?
Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
----------
Software DT in Heaven
Ramu : hey.. I couldn't send a mail to Hell today... it
says mail "demon" not running...
Somu : ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not
reachable" and bounces back!
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
Fun277
WHICH CITY DO YOU BELONG TO???
WHICH CITY DO YOU BELONG TO ???
Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a
fourth and.
They start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,sees
them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries
to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's DELHI
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call
their Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are in AMRITSAR
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a
software Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't
stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's BANGALORE
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy
comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all
this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's CHENNAI
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton
of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each
other and all go home being friends.
You are in GOA
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy
comes along and quietly opens a tea-stall & a thattukada
(dhaba)...
U R NOW IN KERALA
WHICH CITY DO YOU BELONG TO ???
Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a
fourth and.
They start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,sees
them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries
to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's DELHI
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call
their Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are in AMRITSAR
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a
software Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't
stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's BANGALORE
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy
comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all
this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's CHENNAI
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton
of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each
other and all go home being friends.
You are in GOA
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy
comes along and quietly opens a tea-stall & a thattukada
(dhaba)...
U R NOW IN KERALA
Fun280
LETTER TO PRINCIPLE BY PUNJABI KID :
To,
The Principle,
Guru Harkishan Public School, Kalka Ji ,
New Delhi.
Sir,
Binti eh hai ki ajj kall school vich Dil nahin lagda te raat nu neend vi nahi aandi. Kyonki school vich kudiyyan ghatt ne. Sohni vee nai hai, jo hai oh sabb eniyann ajeeb ne ki dekhann nu ji ni karda, sab kaali peeli hengi. Te Madama v koih khass patakka ya jabardast maal nahi haan.
Hor kuch nai te ghatt to ghatt receptionist hi sohni rakh lavo.... taaki nave bachhe admission laen layyee motivate ho sakan.
Aap ji da bahut dhannwad howega.
Your's faithfully,
Santa Singh
Class : 3 ? B
Fun278
Modern truths & saying
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the
lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success........ is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think
again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you
don't need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal,
expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear
brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich..... which never
works.
If at first you don't succeed.... Destroy all evidence
that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.
If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered
side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most
inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
As soon as you mention something...... if it is good, it
is taken.... If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden
rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late......
the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same
item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and
the person in front of you will always have the most
complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don't have a pen....... If you have
a pen, you don't have paper...... if you have both, no one
calls.
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken
attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
All BMTC buses are crowded.
Corollary----- BMTC buses in opposite direction always go
empty.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are
in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will
always pull in together and the bus which you get in will
be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut
tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all
the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from
the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the
lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success........ is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think
again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you
don't need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal,
expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear
brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich..... which never
works.
If at first you don't succeed.... Destroy all evidence
that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.
If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered
side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most
inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
As soon as you mention something...... if it is good, it
is taken.... If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden
rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late......
the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same
item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and
the person in front of you will always have the most
complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don't have a pen....... If you have
a pen, you don't have paper...... if you have both, no one
calls.
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken
attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
All BMTC buses are crowded.
Corollary----- BMTC buses in opposite direction always go
empty.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are
in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will
always pull in together and the bus which you get in will
be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut
tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all
the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from
the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Fun275
Lessons in Logic
I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
So why practice?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .....
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .......
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ..
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........
I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
So why practice?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .....
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
.......
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .......
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ..
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ...
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... ....
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
......... .
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
............ ......... ......... ......... .........
........
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........
Fun271
Ghost chat ( hehehe )
Ghost chat
Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.
1st ghost : How u died?
2nd ghost : I died of cold.
1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?
2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the
refrigerator.
Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to
freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died
suffocating.
1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die....
2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?
1st ghost : I died from heart attack.
2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?
1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having
an affair with another man.
One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man
shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was
in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom,
my wife was alone.
I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched
the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but
the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched
the wardrobe, but I found nothing.
Because of all that running,I got a heart attack and
died.
2nd ghost : Why you never look for the bastard in the
fridge? The bastard was hiding there. We both might be
alive now!!
Ghost chat
Fun272
REASONS WHY LIFE WITHOUT GIRLFRIEND IS COOL....
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.
4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.
6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is
automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the
bloody phone to
ring.
8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining,
"right" and
"wrong" for u.
9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do
anything
according ur wishes anymore.
10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead
of a
girlfriend and have a happier family life .
11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.
No more
endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop
place.
12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time
for them.
13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of
sports.
14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and , therefore,
u'll sin
less.
15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about
her.
16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend
with ur
folks .
17. No nonstop nonsense.
18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
19. No tension.
20. You can be "urself" 21. You wont have
to hide your telephone bills....
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.
4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.
6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is
automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the
bloody phone to
ring.
8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining,
"right" and
"wrong" for u.
9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do
anything
according ur wishes anymore.
10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead
of a
girlfriend and have a happier family life .
11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.
No more
endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop
place.
12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time
for them.
13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of
sports.
14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and , therefore,
u'll sin
less.
15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about
her.
16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend
with ur
folks .
17. No nonstop nonsense.
18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
19. No tension.
20. You can be "urself" 21. You wont have
to hide your telephone bills....
Fun263
Bollywood in callcenter
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
Fun270
DICTIONARY FOR MEN/WOMEN
What MEN / WOMEN Says and What their actual Meanings.
WOMEN'S WORDS
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Fine, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you idiot!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is s@x all you ever
think about?
*********
MEN'S WORDS
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have s@x now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have s@x?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s@@ with
you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s@@ with
you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s@@
with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s@@
with you
What MEN / WOMEN Says and What their actual Meanings.
WOMEN'S WORDS
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Fine, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you idiot!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is s@x all you ever
think about?
*********
MEN'S WORDS
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have s@x now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have s@x?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s@@ with
you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s@@ with
you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s@@
with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s@@
with you
Fun261
Bollywood in callcenter
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
Fun267
The real Seven wonders of the world !
Bole to
1. Apun
2. Apunki smile
3. Apunki style
4. Apunki personality
5. Apunka nature
6. Apunke mail
Aur
...
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
7. TUM!
2. Apunki smile
3. Apunki style
4. Apunki personality
5. Apunka nature
6. Apunke mail
Aur
...
..
.
.
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.
7. TUM!
Fun265
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Dont break this forward
this is so sweet:)
Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:
1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo
2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder
3.
How cute they look when they sleep
4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms
5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world
6.
How cute they are when they eat
7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while
8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside
9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear
10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth
11.
How cute they are when they argue
12.
The way her hand always finds yours
13.
The way they smile
14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight
15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....
16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them
17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"
18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...
19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry
20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly
21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt
22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!
23.
The way they say
"I miss you"
24.
The way you miss them
25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
*i know who my feelings are for...
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Fun269
An Interview Question
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,
it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die!
2. An old friend who once saved your life!
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about!
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing
very well that there could only be one passenger in your
car?
Think before you continue reading...
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually
used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to
die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay
him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate
again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no
trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his
answer?
.........
........
...........
....
.....
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him
take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and
wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn
thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,
it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die!
2. An old friend who once saved your life!
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about!
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing
very well that there could only be one passenger in your
car?
Think before you continue reading...
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
.........
........
...........
....
.....
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually
used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to
die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay
him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate
again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no
trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his
answer?
.........
........
...........
....
.....
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him
take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and
wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn
thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Fun268
Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?"
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working."
Fun266
TWO WOMEN TALKING:
============ ========= ========= ====
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave
me the mirror. I
mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut
like that, but I
think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with
this stuff I
think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is
adorable. And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look
so cute I think. I
was actually going to do that except that I was afraid
it would accent
my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
neck! Anything to
take attention away from these football player
shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love
to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean,
look at my arms,
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I
could get clothes to
fit me so much easier.
....
.....
......
......
.....
.....
.....
.....
....
.....
.....
......
......
.....
.....
.....
.....
NOW, TWO MEN TALKING
============ ========= ========= ========
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
============ ========= ========= ========
Fun264
Bollywood in callcenter
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........
Imagine the calls.
Amitabh
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte
mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer
care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap
ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne
meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao
pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh
diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko
kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and
worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi
naachna
Shatru
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya
hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya
hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue
hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep
hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem
hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police
mien report likha...
Bindu
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte
hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Shakti
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you
for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa,
pyarasa...rep hooon..
Mehmood
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva
hai...
Ajit
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai.....
May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to
hamein manage kaun karega....
Gabbar
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo
maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra
Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice
khud dhoondle
Rajkumar
Rajkumar : Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti
hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki
cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10
minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko
darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager...
manager se hum nahi...
And at last ..................
Sharukh
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone....
Fun262
Once during a Management training program, a team of Senior Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.
They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers,
Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.
After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs ?
"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
Moral:
No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.
Fun253
::: How To Wear a Saree :::
Over the centuries, there have been changes the Saree is still holding
its grace and beauty. Even in this modern era a feminine dress Saree is
not forgettable. Several important occasions in Hindu Culture witnesses
the importance of a Saree . The
Saree has attained great importance among other feminine dresses and has
maintained it's elegant and beauty till now. Even on the occasion of
marriages in different states of India the cultural as well as modern
occasional dress of the bride is Sari .
Ladies dressed in Sari reflects women's style, grace, sense and elegant.
Sari enhances an increases the beauty, personality and importance as a
lady. It is important to drape a Sari in proper manner so as to look
perfectly dressed. Properly dressed Sari has greater appearance.
Few Tips on Wearing a Saree: -
* Slim women should wear Cotton Sari , Tissue Sari , Tapeta Silk Sari
, Tussar silk Sari , so that they may look beautiful, attractive and
Healthy.
* Healthy women should wear Georgette Sari , Chignon Sari , Maysoor
silk Sari , or Chiffon Sari so that they may look beautiful, attractive
and slim.
* Shorter women should wear the Sari with small borders or no borders
and in dressed position the lining on Sari , if so, should appear
horizontal to the earth so that they may look beautiful, attractive and
tall.
* Longer women should wear the Sari with big borders and in dressed
position the lining, if so, on Sari should appear parallel to the earth
so that they may look beautiful and attractive.
* Fair complexion women should wear dark color
Sari so that they may look beautiful, attractive.
* Dark complexion women should wear light color Sari so that they may
look beautiful, attractive.
Over the centuries, there have been changes the Saree is still holding
its grace and beauty. Even in this modern era a feminine dress Saree is
not forgettable. Several important occasions in Hindu Culture witnesses
the importance of a Saree . The
Saree has attained great importance among other feminine dresses and has
maintained it's elegant and beauty till now. Even on the occasion of
marriages in different states of India the cultural as well as modern
occasional dress of the bride is Sari .
Ladies dressed in Sari reflects women's style, grace, sense and elegant.
Sari enhances an increases the beauty, personality and importance as a
lady. It is important to drape a Sari in proper manner so as to look
perfectly dressed. Properly dressed Sari has greater appearance.
Few Tips on Wearing a Saree: -
* Slim women should wear Cotton Sari , Tissue Sari , Tapeta Silk Sari
, Tussar silk Sari , so that they may look beautiful, attractive and
Healthy.
* Healthy women should wear Georgette Sari , Chignon Sari , Maysoor
silk Sari , or Chiffon Sari so that they may look beautiful, attractive
and slim.
* Shorter women should wear the Sari with small borders or no borders
and in dressed position the lining on Sari , if so, should appear
horizontal to the earth so that they may look beautiful, attractive and
tall.
* Longer women should wear the Sari with big borders and in dressed
position the lining, if so, on Sari should appear parallel to the earth
so that they may look beautiful and attractive.
* Fair complexion women should wear dark color
Sari so that they may look beautiful, attractive.
* Dark complexion women should wear light color Sari so that they may
look beautiful, attractive.
Fun258
MERA APPRAISAL
Appraisal ke naam par ek lambi aah bharte hain,
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,
hamesha ki tarah 10 baje thumakte hue office aaya,
11 baje tak nashta kiya aur barah baje tak mail hi padh paya,
hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi mujhe alas aa raha tha,
aur mera PM mujhe tirchhi nigahon se dekh-dekh gussa raha tha,
main bade concentration ke sath ek "Careful" mail padh raha tha,
tabhi dekha mere PM ke naam ka new mail kone main blink kar raha tha,
is mail ki amad se itna ghabara raha tha,
ki CLTR + F4 ki jagah shift + F5 daba raha tha,
phir koi training attend karni hogi, ye kya bakwas hai,
kya reply main likh dun ki mere mailbox ka upwas hai ?
maine aankhen band ki aur 10 bar "om" "om" bola,
aur pranam karte hue maine wo mail khola,
PM ke is mail main ek ajeeb sa sukoon aur bholapan hai,
likha hai bhaiyon appraisal letters aa gaye,ab to one-to-one hai,
mujhe lag raha tha vb ke environment pe unix ka code likh diya ho kisi ne,
dil aise dhadak raha tha jaise baar baar dil pe double click kiya ho kisi ne,
mann main aise bure bure khayal aa rahe the,
upar se kuch log mere "de-appraisal" ki gandi affvah uda rahe the,
appraisal aise aaya jaise India main Michael Jackson aya ho,
jaise Indian football team ne ,Manchester United ko haraya ho,
PM ko letter late dekh har koi use dekhta jata hai,
jaise mallika ke kisi naye gane ko dekha jata hai,
akhir wo waqt aaya,
PM ne ek ek kar sabko ander bulaya,
jo bhi ander jata hansta hua jata,
jo bahar ata , murjhaya hua ata,
jo bhi ander jata, sabko dekhte hue jata,
jaise hi bahar ata , sabse mooh chupata,
bahar aa kar insaan sambhal bhi nahi pata hai,
ki "kitna hua kitna mila" har koi uspe toot jata hai,
aisa lagta hai wo romm nahi "time machine" ho jo sabke ander leti ho,
aur "good time" se utha kar "bad time" main lakar chod deti ho,
kisi ko appraisal main 2000 rupaye mile the, main uski hansi uda raha tha,
tabhi maine dekha mera PM ishare se mujhe ander bula raha tha,
main confidence se utha aur age kadam badhaya,
tabhi meri belt ka buckle toot ke nikal aaya,
meri halat to abhi se hi buri ho gayi,
sala izzat utarna to yahi se shuru ho gayi,
main ander pahuncha aur PM ne mujhe bithaya,
usne mera letter padha aur wo hansi rok na paya,
wo hansne laga aur hansta hi chala gaya,
use yaron hansi ka thaska aa gaya,
wo itna hansa ki use ansu aa gaye,
mere appraisal digits use itne bha gaye,
jaise hi usne appraisal letter meri taraf badhaya,
meri ankhon ke age ghanghor andhera chhaya,
mujhe laga jaise meri dil ki deewar ko kisi ne gobar se pota hai,
are yaar "bees rupaye" ? ye bhi koi increment hota hai ?
ye software industry hai akhada nahi hai,
ye "SALARY INCREMENT" hai , Dadar ane-jane ka bhada nahi hai,
meri charon taraf kali ghata chayi,
tabhi mere PM ki soothing awaz aayi,
tum soch rahe hoge ke company mgmt ka dimag phir gaya hai,
par beta hum kya karen, dollar ka bhav 2 rupaye jo gir gaya hai,
par phir bhi mujhe lagta hai, ye letter fake hai,
mujhe to lagta hai ye printing mistake hai,
tum HR main jao,
aur ye confirm karke ao,
bhai HR main jane ke liye taiyyar hona padta hai,
wahi to aisi jagah hai jahan sunder ladkiyon se pala padta hai,
shitt!! jahan "Ronak" baith ti hai, aaj whan baitha "Aftab" hai,
main samajh gaya beta, aaj apna badluck hi kharab hai,
usne mera letter khola,
aur khush ho ke bola,
wo bola sir aap ke liye khushkhabri hai,
aap ke letter ne "Printing mistake" pakdi hai,
maine kaha boss ab der na lagayen ,
aur mujhe mera actual amount batayen,
sorry sir ye mistake just by accident hai,
bees rupaye nahi, do rupaye aap ka increment hai,
main kya karun aap ko ye batete hue mera dil ro raha hai,
par kya karen dollar ka bhav bhi to kam ho raha hai,
main bas wahan khada tha ,kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha,
mujhse zyada increment to security wala pa raha tah,
maine khud ko sambhala, khud ko uthaya,
main lauta aur seedhe PM ke pass aaya,
main seedha uske cabin gaya aur darwaza khola,
is se pehle ki wo bole, main hi us se bola,
sir ye paise wapis le lijiye, baat karna fizool hai,
main gareeb hun, par bheekh nahi leta ye mera usool hai,
doston ek ant main ek shayari --
"appraisal aisa laddu hai ,jise khane ka har kisi ka khwab hota hai,
par ek bar koi ise kha le , to bada bhayankar julaab hota hai,"
Fun256
Pal pal nayi sabak sikhati hai Zindagi
Waqt Waqt nayi rah dikhati hai Zindagi
Jab sochta hu ki sikh liya hai abb maine
Phir kyu jane nayi paheliya bujati hai Zindagi
Jab Tairta hu to Sagar dikhati hai Zindagi
Jab Doudta hu to pahadiyo ki choti dikhati hai Zindagi
Jab lagta hai kisi seema par pohoch gaya
Tab jane kyu nayiii aseemtaaye dikhati hai Zindagi
Kabhi badalo me udne ki chah deti hai Zindagi
Kabhi Taro ko chuh jane ki chah deti hai Zindagi
Aur jab ye chaho ki leher utthi hai mann me
Tab jane kyu zameen par reh kar kya kiya puch utthi hai Zindagi
Shayad sahi waqt bata rahi hai zindagi
Shayad sahi disha dikha rahi hai zindagi
Aur jab hum use dund rahe hote hai yaha waha
Tab shayab
Har waqt aur har rah par safalta hoti hai
ye dikhati hai Zindagi
Fun255
Today's thought
The greatest handicap - Fear
*******
The best day - Today
*******
Hardest thing to do - To begin
*******
Easiest thing to do - Finding faults
*******
Most useless asset - Pride
*******
Most useful asset - Humility
*******
Most disagreeable person - The complainer
*******
Great need - Common sense
*******
Meanest feeling - Regret at another's success
*******
Best gift - Forgiveness
*******
The hardest & most painful to accept - Defeat
*******
The greatest knowledge - Experience
*******
The greatest thing - LOVE
*******
The greatest success in the world - PEACE OF
MIND
*******
The greatest handicap - Fear
*******
The best day - Today
*******
Hardest thing to do - To begin
*******
Easiest thing to do - Finding faults
*******
Most useless asset - Pride
*******
Most useful asset - Humility
*******
Most disagreeable person - The complainer
*******
Great need - Common sense
*******
Meanest feeling - Regret at another's success
*******
Best gift - Forgiveness
*******
The hardest & most painful to accept - Defeat
*******
The greatest knowledge - Experience
*******
The greatest thing - LOVE
*******
The greatest success in the world - PEACE OF
MIND
*******
Fun260
If the truth be told about wives......
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David
Bissonette
* When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge
than
to let him keep her.
* After marriage, husband and wife become two
sides of a
coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay
together. Hemant
Joshi
* By all means marry. If you get a good wife,
you'll be happy.
If
you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
* Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents
us from
achieving them. Dumas
* The great question... which I have not been able
to answer...
is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
* I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs
with
me. Anonymous
* "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take
time
to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
candlelight, dinner,
soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry
Youngman
* "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for
two years."
Sam Kinison
* "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran
* "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first
one left me
and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray
* Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash
* The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to
forget it once... Anonymous
* You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
Henny Youngman
* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then
we met.
Rodney
Dangerfield
* A good wife always forgives her husband when
she's wrong.
Milton Berle
* Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with
the enemy.
Anonymous
* A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted".
Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You
can have mine." Anonymous
* First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second
Guy "You're
lucky, mine's still alive."
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David
Bissonette
* When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge
than
to let him keep her.
* After marriage, husband and wife become two
sides of a
coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay
together. Hemant
Joshi
* By all means marry. If you get a good wife,
you'll be happy.
If
you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
* Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents
us from
achieving them. Dumas
* The great question... which I have not been able
to answer...
is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
* I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs
with
me. Anonymous
* "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take
time
to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
candlelight, dinner,
soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry
Youngman
* "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for
two years."
Sam Kinison
* "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran
* "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first
one left me
and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray
* Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash
* The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to
forget it once... Anonymous
* You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
Henny Youngman
* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then
we met.
Rodney
Dangerfield
* A good wife always forgives her husband when
she's wrong.
Milton Berle
* Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with
the enemy.
Anonymous
* A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted".
Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You
can have mine." Anonymous
* First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second
Guy "You're
lucky, mine's still alive."
Fun252
Equations - just for fun :
Equations:
1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.
3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since
1896
4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in
Jurassic park.
6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada
= a 4 minute
song in Hindi movie.
7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability +
personality + own
production company = Kajol
8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's
favorite serials.
9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati
= A SUPERSTAR.
10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek
Bachchan
11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay
Dutt
15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
16. Software Engineer + No Work = Forwards :D
Fun259
I wish you...
*WISHING YOU - IN YOUR BUSY *
*LIFESTYLE SOME TIME FOR RELAXATION *
*& REFLECTION ........ *
*GOOD SLEEP*
*GOOD HEALTH WITH EXERCISE *
*SOMEONE TO DANCE WITH *
*A BIT OF ADVENTURE*
*GOOD LOOKS*
*BUT MOST OF ALL ..... *
*I WISH YOU .....*
*LOTS OF BEAR HUGS ..... *
*AND THE BLISS OF REAL LOVE *
*MANY BLESSINGS COME YOUR WAY TODAY: *
*MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE LOVE TO SHARE *
*HEALTH TO SPARE*
*AND FRIENDS THAT CARE *
*BUT WATCH OUT FOR THOSE PENGUINS *
*DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE DOING THIS TO SOMEONE? *
*NOW PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY PERSON *
*YOU CONSIDER A FRIEND *
*WISHING YOU - IN YOUR BUSY *
*LIFESTYLE SOME TIME FOR RELAXATION *
*& REFLECTION ........ *
*GOOD SLEEP*
*GOOD HEALTH WITH EXERCISE *
*SOMEONE TO DANCE WITH *
*A BIT OF ADVENTURE*
*GOOD LOOKS*
*BUT MOST OF ALL ..... *
*I WISH YOU .....*
*LOTS OF BEAR HUGS ..... *
*AND THE BLISS OF REAL LOVE *
*MANY BLESSINGS COME YOUR WAY TODAY: *
*MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE LOVE TO SHARE *
*HEALTH TO SPARE*
*AND FRIENDS THAT CARE *
*BUT WATCH OUT FOR THOSE PENGUINS *
*DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE DOING THIS TO SOMEONE? *
*NOW PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY PERSON *
*YOU CONSIDER A FRIEND *
Fun257
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take
them while driving.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you
are a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right and the other is the husband!
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I
tried - but they wanted cash
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after
you've purchased new school uniforms.
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry
the one you cannot live without;
But whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not
vote.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting
before you get tired
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her
or she'll take it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and
she agrees with me.
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to
others.
Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many
times, always with the same person.
You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
more than doing them.
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his
job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Real friends are the ones who survive transitions
between address books.
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents
have done it for you.
Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something
They call our language the mother tongue because the
father seldom gets to speak!
Enjoy Life!!!!!!!!!
Fun254
So U think u know everything...
So You think you Know everything?........
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours!
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a
second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture
dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln
Memorial on the back
of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until
the child reaches
2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have
about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters
"mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to
have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been
domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single
file, the line would
never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you
will spend an
average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
silver, or
purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the
Parliament building
is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose
and ears never
stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the
left hand and
"lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each
gallon of diesel that
it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a
radar tube and a
chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy
dog" uses every
letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze
completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same
whether they are read
left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which
end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all
five vowels in
order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables
Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the
letters only on
one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a
dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two
weeks; otherwise
it will digest itself.
So You think you Know everything?........
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours!
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a
second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture
dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln
Memorial on the back
of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until
the child reaches
2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have
about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters
"mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to
have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been
domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single
file, the line would
never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you
will spend an
average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
silver, or
purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the
Parliament building
is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose
and ears never
stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the
left hand and
"lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each
gallon of diesel that
it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a
radar tube and a
chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy
dog" uses every
letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze
completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same
whether they are read
left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which
end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all
five vowels in
order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables
Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the
letters only on
one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a
dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two
weeks; otherwise
it will digest itself.
Fun251
1) Oprah Winfrey Show
I'm sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like"..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish
and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I
wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."
His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES".
Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.
My suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let's give him what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put Him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. BOYCOTT.
PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW. Then send it to the whole community that's not white people and see the result. We have to see the result of unity.
Let's find out if Non-whites really play such a small part in the world. Stop buying any range of their product, perfume, cosmetics,
clothes, bags, etc.,
2) Scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesbur g and London.
A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is
the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she
responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this
Flight is taken.
I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went
away and t hen came back a few minutes later. "Madam, Just as I thought,
there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the
captain and he informed me that there is a seat in the business class.
All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman
could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not Usual for our
company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first
class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be
scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She
turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to,
please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."
At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had Just witnessed stood up and applauded.
Both the above are true stories. If You are against racism, please send this message to all your friends;
Fun249
Good one, hmmm more than one
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a
WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their
friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME
time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER
among all your
Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving
through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we
should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says :
No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we
will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing
SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing
EVERY thing in
your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him
to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in
Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same
Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT
what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a
WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their
friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME
time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER
among all your
Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving
through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we
should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says :
No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we
will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing
SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing
EVERY thing in
your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him
to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in
Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same
Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT
what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
Fun246
Someone Somewhere.....
Someone
Is very proud of you
Someone
Is thinking of you
Someone
Cares about you
Someone
Misses you
Someone
Wants to talk to you
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Hopes you aren't in trouble
Someone
Is thankful for the support you have
Provided
Someone
Wants to hold your hand
Someone
Hopes everything turns out all right
Someone
Wants you to be happy
Someone
Wants you to find them
Someone
Is celebrating your successes
Someone
Wants to give you a gift
Someone
Think you ARE a gift
Someone
Hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
Someone
Wants to hug you
Someone
Loves you
Someone
Wants to lavish you with small gifts
Someone
Admires your strength
Someone
Is thinking of you and smiling
Someone
Wants to be your shoulder to cry on
Someone
Wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
Someone
Thinks the world of you
Someone
Wants to protect you
Someone
Would do anything for you
Someone
Wants to be forgiven
Someone
Is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone
Wants to laugh with you about old times
Someone
Remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone
Is praising God for you
Someone
Needs to know that your love is unconditional
Somebody
Values your advice
Someone
Wants to tell you how much they care
Someone
Wants to stay up watching old movies with
You
Someone
Wants to share their dreams with you
Someone
Wants to hold you in their arms
Someone
Wants YOU to hold them in your arms
Someone
Treasures your spirit
Someone
Wishes they could STOP time because of
You
Someone
Praises God for your friendship and lov e
Someone
Can't wait to see you
Someone
Wishes that things didn't have to change
Someone
Loves you for who you are
Someone
Loves the way you make them feel
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Is hoping they can grow old with you
Someone
Hears a song that reminds them of you
Someone
Wants you to know they are there for you
Someone
Is glad that you're their friend
Someone
Wants to be your friend
Someone
Stayed up all night thinking about you
Someone
Is alive because of you
Someone
Is remorseful after losing your
Friendship
Someone
Is wishing that you would notice them
Someone
Wants to get to know you better
Someone
Believes that you are their soul mate
Someone
Wants to be near you
Someone
Misses your guidance and advice
Someone
Values your guidance and advice
Someone
Has faith in you
Someone
Trusts you
Someone
Needs you to send them this letter
Someone
Needs your support
Someone
Needs you to have faith in them
Someone
Needs you to let them be your friend
Someone
Will cry when they read this
You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute---
Someone
Is very proud of you
Someone
Is thinking of you
Someone
Cares about you
Someone
Misses you
Someone
Wants to talk to you
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Hopes you aren't in trouble
Someone
Is thankful for the support you have
Provided
Someone
Wants to hold your hand
Someone
Hopes everything turns out all right
Someone
Wants you to be happy
Someone
Wants you to find them
Someone
Is celebrating your successes
Someone
Wants to give you a gift
Someone
Think you ARE a gift
Someone
Hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
Someone
Wants to hug you
Someone
Loves you
Someone
Wants to lavish you with small gifts
Someone
Admires your strength
Someone
Is thinking of you and smiling
Someone
Wants to be your shoulder to cry on
Someone
Wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
Someone
Thinks the world of you
Someone
Wants to protect you
Someone
Would do anything for you
Someone
Wants to be forgiven
Someone
Is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone
Wants to laugh with you about old times
Someone
Remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone
Is praising God for you
Someone
Needs to know that your love is unconditional
Somebody
Values your advice
Someone
Wants to tell you how much they care
Someone
Wants to stay up watching old movies with
You
Someone
Wants to share their dreams with you
Someone
Wants to hold you in their arms
Someone
Wants YOU to hold them in your arms
Someone
Treasures your spirit
Someone
Wishes they could STOP time because of
You
Someone
Praises God for your friendship and lov e
Someone
Can't wait to see you
Someone
Wishes that things didn't have to change
Someone
Loves you for who you are
Someone
Loves the way you make them feel
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Is hoping they can grow old with you
Someone
Hears a song that reminds them of you
Someone
Wants you to know they are there for you
Someone
Is glad that you're their friend
Someone
Wants to be your friend
Someone
Stayed up all night thinking about you
Someone
Is alive because of you
Someone
Is remorseful after losing your
Friendship
Someone
Is wishing that you would notice them
Someone
Wants to get to know you better
Someone
Believes that you are their soul mate
Someone
Wants to be near you
Someone
Misses your guidance and advice
Someone
Values your guidance and advice
Someone
Has faith in you
Someone
Trusts you
Someone
Needs you to send them this letter
Someone
Needs your support
Someone
Needs you to have faith in them
Someone
Needs you to let them be your friend
Someone
Will cry when they read this
You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute---
Fun244
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. Often
happens in life
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format)
to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always
falls on me
because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and
look at me
because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and
immediately you
stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked
for it, you
hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for
lifting
you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into
your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to
college
because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you
came with a
rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple
early at 6:00 AM
because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my
birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are
spiritual
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me.
Don't delay
in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,
love is
budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If
you have
scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love
me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
-----
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
-----
-----------------------------------------------
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people
entering the
class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs,
will he/she
stop singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my
childhood
photo. You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't
you
understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the
bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower,
banana's flower.
Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you
in temple. I
come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I
am not
loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know
the
meaning of Love.
Fun243
KNOW UR Value....!
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up
a Rupee 500 note.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee
500 note?"
Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this
note to one of you
but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple
the note up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it
on the ground and
started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He
picked it up, now all
crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because
it did not
decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and
ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come
our way. We feel as
though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you
will never lose
your value.
You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let
yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.
" VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED "
Fun247
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A
couple drove down a country road for several miles,
Not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep ," the wife replied, "In-laws."
****************
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "
What?"
****************
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can
be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me
beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
****************
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages,
That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
****************
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she
would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was
about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
****************
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Really
A
couple drove down a country road for several miles,
Not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep ," the wife replied, "In-laws."
****************
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "
What?"
****************
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can
be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me
beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
****************
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages,
That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
****************
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she
would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was
about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
****************
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Really
Fun250
Equations - just for fun :
Equations:
1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.
3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since
1896
4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in
Jurassic park.
6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada
= a 4 minute
song in Hindi movie.
7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability +
personality + own
production company = Kajol
8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's
favorite serials.
9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati
= A SUPERSTAR.
10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek
Bachchan
11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay
Dutt
15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
16. Software Engineer + No Work = Forwards :D
Fun248
Good one, hmmm more than one
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a
WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their
friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME
time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER
among all your
Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving
through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we
should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says :
No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we
will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing
SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing
EVERY thing in
your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him
to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in
Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same
Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT
what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a
WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their
friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME
time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER
among all your
Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving
through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we
should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says :
No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we
will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing
SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing
EVERY thing in
your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him
to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in
Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same
Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT
what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
Fun245
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. Often
happens in life
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format)
to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always
falls on me
because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and
look at me
because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and
immediately you
stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked
for it, you
hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for
lifting
you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into
your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to
college
because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you
came with a
rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple
early at 6:00 AM
because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my
birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are
spiritual
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me.
Don't delay
in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,
love is
budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If
you have
scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love
me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
-----
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------\
-----
-----------------------------------------------
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people
entering the
class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs,
will he/she
stop singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my
childhood
photo. You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't
you
understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the
bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower,
banana's flower.
Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you
in temple. I
come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I
am not
loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know
the
meaning of Love.
Fun242
Nice moral story ( really gud )
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not
quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet
away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if
she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you
get a
response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away,
let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his
wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response so,
He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's
for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
dinner?"
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"
Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always
think,
could be very much within us..!
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not
quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet
away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if
she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you
get a
response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away,
let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his
wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response so,
He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's
for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
dinner?"
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"
Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always
think,
could be very much within us..!
Fun241
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
L! ONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
Fun238
Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel
Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit
juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please "
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush
tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or
honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water
instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit
juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please "
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush
tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or
honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water
instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Fun237
KHANDALA SONG in different languages
Khandala song in various languages??
===================
Aati kya khandala
===================
Hindi:
A Kya Bolti Tu?
A Kya Mai Bolu?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya ?
English :
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll
freak, baby,what else?
Sanskrit : This is too good
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi?
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh?
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyami?
Punjabi :
A ! ke boldi tu;?
A ke mein bolan?;
Sunh
Sunha
Chaldi khandala
Ki karaan ae ke mein khandala
Are Ghoomenge, Turainge, Naachenge, Gaavenge, Mauj
Karenge, Aur Ki ?
Gujarati :
Aye shun bole tu?
Aye hun shun bolu?
Sambhal
Sambhlaav
Aave chey su khandaalaa?
Shun karu aaviine khandaalaa?
Ghumshun, pharshun, naachshun, gaashun, majaa karshun,
beeju shun?
Marathi
Aye kaai tu mhantes?
Aye kaai mi mhanhu?
Aik
Aikav
Yetes kai khandaalaa?
Kai karu yevon mi khandaalaa?
Are ghumuyaa, phiruyaa, gavuyaa, nachuyaa, aish
karuyaa, aankhin kai?
Kashmiri :
Heey, kya chaakh wannan?
Heev, kya bhe wanneyyyy?
Booz
Wanoo
Pakha telle khandalaa;
Kya karee weeteth bhe khandalaa
Pherevhey, nachevhey, geevevhey, khevevhey, eesh
karav, beyy kya?
Konkani :Aye ! kitte sangta tu?
Aye ! aao kite sangu?
Saang
Saangta
Khandalaa yeta ghi?
Khandalaa yevun kithe kharche?
Bhovya, Phireya, Naachya, Gauya, maja korya, anikithe?
Bengali :
Ei ki bolis tui?
Ei ki ar boli?
Shon
Shonaa !
Jabi ki khondalaa
K! i kori giye khondalaa
Are, ghurbo, phirbo, nachbo, gaibo, maja korbo ar ki?
Malayalam :
Aye yendhu parayunnu?
Aye nyan yedhu parayaan?
Keku
Parayu
Varinno khandala?
Yendu cheyyan .. Nyaan vannittu Khandaala?
Karangam, chuttam, paadam, aadam, maja cheyyam,verendha?
Telugu :
Aye, ainte chaepphuta vu?
Aye,ainte chaepala?
Vinu
Chaeppu
Wastava Khandala
Yem Chesedhi? vacchi Khandala
Thiruguthamu, eguruthamu, aadthaamu, paadthaamu,maja
chesthamu inkemi?
Sindhi :
Aye cha thi c! haen tu?
Aye Maan chaa chavan?
Budh
Budhai
Acheti cha khandaalaa?
Cha kandis achi maan khandaalaa?
Are Ghumandasi, phirandasi, gayendasi,
Nachandasi,aaish kan! dasi, byo cha?
Magahi : (BIHARI)
A ki bolahin tu?
A kya boliyuow hum?
Sun
Sunaow
Aaimahi ki khandala
Ki kariaow aake hum khandala
Gumbai, Phir! bai, naachai, gaayii, aish karbai aur ki
Assamese:
ey ki kua tumi?
ey ki kom moi?
sun
suna
ahibi ki khandala?
ki korim aahi moi kahandalaa
are ghurim,phirim,nasim,gaam,khub phurti korim aru ki?
Tamil:
Enna solre?
Ennatha solla?
mudalla kelu,
sari sollu
Kandala variya
kandala poi enna panrathu
Vera enna .oor suthuvom aaduvom paaduvom jalsa
pannuvom
Foreign Languages :
German :
Was sagst du?
Was soll ich sagen?
Hor mal!
Sag mal!
Kommst Nach Khandala?
Was machen wir in Khaldala?
Wir gehen, spazieren, tanzen, singen, haben spaCx,
was noch?
Spanish :
Tu que deceas?
Yo que deseo?
Oye
Di me
Vas a tu khandaalaa?
Que haceo, yo voy en el khandaalaa?
Viajamos, vagabundeamos, bailamos, cantamos,
disfrutamos, si no.
Chinese :
Ain, Chon Zuan Ho?
Ain, Chon Hee Zuano?
Sui,!
Suion,
Hyuan Chon Khandala?
Chon Tsuani Hyui Hee Khandala?
Chijuan, Kajuan, Marijuan, Siuan, Samshuan
Tsuaniya Tsu Chon?
Russian :
Aeich, Kov Speache niv?
Aeich, Kov miv Speache?
Nuushev,!
Nuusheva,
Comeva Kov Khandala?
Kov Sheychev Comov miv Khandala?
Rotiv, Rotrach, Balleva, Opereacha, Enjova
Sheychevin, Kov
Gobraich?
French :!
Aye! qu'est-ceque tu dis?
Aye! qu'est-ceque tu me vouler dire?
Entendre
Entendrez
Est-ceque tu viens a la Khandala
Qu'est-ceque je fais a aller a la Khandala ?
Promenez,! Allez, Dansez, Chantez a quelle?
Zambesi : (African)
Aye, Zwa To Zulu?
Aye, Zwa Ze Zulu,?
Wahte,
Kaso,
Heliyo To Khandaalaa?
Zwa Kumi, Helithe Khandaalaa?!
Himala, Romala, Wahwahla, Infala, Kumaya Kumana, Ni
Khandala song in various languages??
===================
Aati kya khandala
===================
Hindi:
A Kya Bolti Tu?
A Kya Mai Bolu?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya ?
English :
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll
freak, baby,what else?
Sanskrit : This is too good
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi?
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh?
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyami?
Punjabi :
A ! ke boldi tu;?
A ke mein bolan?;
Sunh
Sunha
Chaldi khandala
Ki karaan ae ke mein khandala
Are Ghoomenge, Turainge, Naachenge, Gaavenge, Mauj
Karenge, Aur Ki ?
Gujarati :
Aye shun bole tu?
Aye hun shun bolu?
Sambhal
Sambhlaav
Aave chey su khandaalaa?
Shun karu aaviine khandaalaa?
Ghumshun, pharshun, naachshun, gaashun, majaa karshun,
beeju shun?
Marathi
Aye kaai tu mhantes?
Aye kaai mi mhanhu?
Aik
Aikav
Yetes kai khandaalaa?
Kai karu yevon mi khandaalaa?
Are ghumuyaa, phiruyaa, gavuyaa, nachuyaa, aish
karuyaa, aankhin kai?
Kashmiri :
Heey, kya chaakh wannan?
Heev, kya bhe wanneyyyy?
Booz
Wanoo
Pakha telle khandalaa;
Kya karee weeteth bhe khandalaa
Pherevhey, nachevhey, geevevhey, khevevhey, eesh
karav, beyy kya?
Konkani :Aye ! kitte sangta tu?
Aye ! aao kite sangu?
Saang
Saangta
Khandalaa yeta ghi?
Khandalaa yevun kithe kharche?
Bhovya, Phireya, Naachya, Gauya, maja korya, anikithe?
Bengali :
Ei ki bolis tui?
Ei ki ar boli?
Shon
Shonaa !
Jabi ki khondalaa
K! i kori giye khondalaa
Are, ghurbo, phirbo, nachbo, gaibo, maja korbo ar ki?
Malayalam :
Aye yendhu parayunnu?
Aye nyan yedhu parayaan?
Keku
Parayu
Varinno khandala?
Yendu cheyyan .. Nyaan vannittu Khandaala?
Karangam, chuttam, paadam, aadam, maja cheyyam,verendha?
Telugu :
Aye, ainte chaepphuta vu?
Aye,ainte chaepala?
Vinu
Chaeppu
Wastava Khandala
Yem Chesedhi? vacchi Khandala
Thiruguthamu, eguruthamu, aadthaamu, paadthaamu,maja
chesthamu inkemi?
Sindhi :
Aye cha thi c! haen tu?
Aye Maan chaa chavan?
Budh
Budhai
Acheti cha khandaalaa?
Cha kandis achi maan khandaalaa?
Are Ghumandasi, phirandasi, gayendasi,
Nachandasi,aaish kan! dasi, byo cha?
Magahi : (BIHARI)
A ki bolahin tu?
A kya boliyuow hum?
Sun
Sunaow
Aaimahi ki khandala
Ki kariaow aake hum khandala
Gumbai, Phir! bai, naachai, gaayii, aish karbai aur ki
Assamese:
ey ki kua tumi?
ey ki kom moi?
sun
suna
ahibi ki khandala?
ki korim aahi moi kahandalaa
are ghurim,phirim,nasim,gaam,khub phurti korim aru ki?
Tamil:
Enna solre?
Ennatha solla?
mudalla kelu,
sari sollu
Kandala variya
kandala poi enna panrathu
Vera enna .oor suthuvom aaduvom paaduvom jalsa
pannuvom
Foreign Languages :
German :
Was sagst du?
Was soll ich sagen?
Hor mal!
Sag mal!
Kommst Nach Khandala?
Was machen wir in Khaldala?
Wir gehen, spazieren, tanzen, singen, haben spaCx,
was noch?
Spanish :
Tu que deceas?
Yo que deseo?
Oye
Di me
Vas a tu khandaalaa?
Que haceo, yo voy en el khandaalaa?
Viajamos, vagabundeamos, bailamos, cantamos,
disfrutamos, si no.
Chinese :
Ain, Chon Zuan Ho?
Ain, Chon Hee Zuano?
Sui,!
Suion,
Hyuan Chon Khandala?
Chon Tsuani Hyui Hee Khandala?
Chijuan, Kajuan, Marijuan, Siuan, Samshuan
Tsuaniya Tsu Chon?
Russian :
Aeich, Kov Speache niv?
Aeich, Kov miv Speache?
Nuushev,!
Nuusheva,
Comeva Kov Khandala?
Kov Sheychev Comov miv Khandala?
Rotiv, Rotrach, Balleva, Opereacha, Enjova
Sheychevin, Kov
Gobraich?
French :!
Aye! qu'est-ceque tu dis?
Aye! qu'est-ceque tu me vouler dire?
Entendre
Entendrez
Est-ceque tu viens a la Khandala
Qu'est-ceque je fais a aller a la Khandala ?
Promenez,! Allez, Dansez, Chantez a quelle?
Zambesi : (African)
Aye, Zwa To Zulu?
Aye, Zwa Ze Zulu,?
Wahte,
Kaso,
Heliyo To Khandaalaa?
Zwa Kumi, Helithe Khandaalaa?!
Himala, Romala, Wahwahla, Infala, Kumaya Kumana, Ni
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