Sardar Vs J2EE
Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation Card.
Q. What is JVM ?
A. Jilebi, Vada & Maaza
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have
3 tyres.
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Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which
methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for
process.
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it
is multicast
Fun50
Fun49
NEWTON IN ROMANTIC MOOD..............
Universal Law Of Love:
" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From
One Boyfriend To Another Boyfriend With Some Loss Of Money "
First Law Of Love:
" A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him And A Girl
In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless
Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Boy) Comes Into Play And
Break The Legs Of The Girl. "
Second Law Of Love:
" The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is
Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And
The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The
Bank Balance. " (UNIVERSAL TRUTH)
Third Law Of Love:
" The Force Applied While Proposing A Boy By A Girl Is Equal And Opposite
To The Force Applied By The Boy While Slapping and calling her a sister."
Fun47
Dear Friends,
I hope this will clear a whole lot of misconceptions!
Eat, drink and make merry!!
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Its only the misconception, that narrow minded people have. So, Bottoms up!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ......
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.........
Fun44
Teacher n Naughty Students (Hindi)
SIR: BACHCHO KASAM KHAO KABHI SHARAB, CIGERETTE NAHI PIOGE, NON-VEG NAHI KHAOGE.
BACHCHE: NAHI KHAENGE SIR.
SIR: KABHI LADKIYON KO NAHI CHHEDOGE.
BACHCHE: THEEK HAI SIR.
SIR: JUA NAHI KHELOGE.
BACHCHE: OK SIR.
SIR: DESH KE LIYE JAAN BHI DE DOGE.
BACHCHE : DE DENGE SIR, AISI JAAN KA AUR KARENGE BHI KYA
Fun43
**** Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U Continue to do so.
**** How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
O' bolo ta ra ra.
**** Wife : Honey ....... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ....?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**** Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???
Fun41
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Fun39
Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But giraffe was not eating. Why?
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Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND
JJJJJJJJJJ
Fun38
TRY IF YOU CAN…………………………… Peter bought a butter,
The butter Peter bought was bitter,
So Peter Bought A better butter,
To make the bitter butter better.
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
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Which witch wished which wicked wish?
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Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
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She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.
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A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
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Betty Botter had some butter,
But, she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter that would make my batter better.
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
And she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.
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A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.
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Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.
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A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten, By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"
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Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!
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Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a sack.
Fun36
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" .
The barman says "Yes, thats them."
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
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Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one
bicycle repairman."
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The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!
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" Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry
about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
Fun35
There was a good old barber in Mumbai.
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a
"Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he
again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the
shop.The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another
"Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he
finds there......
Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ... . .
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of
forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut
Fun33
Manager Response
Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.
Thanks & Regards
Manager
Fun32
How about this
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to
himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother
heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework,
Mom."
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"
the
mother asked. "Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
"What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher
replied,
"Right now, we are learning addition." The mother
asked,
"And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped
laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two
plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
Fun31
How about this
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to
himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother
heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework,
Mom."
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"
the
mother asked. "Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
"What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher
replied,
"Right now, we are learning addition." The mother
asked,
"And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped
laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two
plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
Fun27
THE CRUSH CHEMISTRY
This is an AWESOME
- First of all you have to follow some steps accordingly to find out about your crush.
- Choose one option from every question about your crush.
- Simultaneously add the numbers next to your every option.
- Then match the total with the RESUTS REACTION given below.
Wish you good luck
Select the initial letter of your crush.
A-1, B-2, C-3, D-4, E-5, F-6, G-7, H-8, I-9, J-10
K-1, L-2, M-3, N-4, O-5, P-6, Q-7, R-8, S-9, T-10
U-1, V-2, W-3, X-4, Y-5, Z-6.
Select his/her skin color.
Fair-5, dark-3, medium-2.
Loves you.
Too much-5, ok-4, doesn't love u -3, don't know-8
Gone for a date??
YES- 3 NO - 5
Height-
Is between 4 to 5 -5
Is between 5 to 6 -2
Is between 6 to 7 -8
Will you go for a date in future??
YES - 4 NO- 10
His/her eye color...
Black-8, brown-4, blue-5
His/her Favorite color-
Blue-7, black-6, brown-5, white-3, yellow-4, don't know-1
Behavior-
Good-7, naughty-5, bad-2, strange-3, don't know-4.
NOW MATCH YOUR TOTAL WITH THE GIVEN RESULT REACTION-
If your total is-
30- hates you
31- Adores you
32- Will cheat you
33- Will soon kiss you
34- Just a good friend
35- Loves you every moment of life
36- Will soon propose you
37- Hates your behavior
38 - Loves you more than anyone else
39- Stop loving him/her
40- Has many other affaires
41- Has started loving you
42- Hates you because you are moody
43- Moody in love with you
44- Say yes if he/she proposes you
45- Not interested in you
46- Loves you very much
47- Will forget you
48- Loves you but tries to hurt you
49- Will use you as time pass
50- Doesn't loves you
51- You will surely carry on love
52- Your family won't accept him/her
53- Takes everything for granted
54- Your close friend is behind him/her
55- Your brother/sister
56- No chance
57- You have to propose him/her
58 - Life is happy
59- Waiting to get linked with you
60- No chance
61- Will get married to someone else
62- You will live happy ever after with him/her
HOPE YOU HAV GOT A SATISFACTORY RESULT ABOUT YOUR DREAM MATE!!!