Fun221
PRESENCE OF MIND
John works in a supermarket. A man came in & asked John for half a kg of butter. John told him they sold only 1 kg packets of butter.
The man insisted tat he wanted only half a kg. John finally said he'd go ask his manager wat 2 do.
John walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants 2 buy only 1/2 a kilo of butter."
As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him,
So he added, "& this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager finished the deal and later said to John, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble, but I must say I was impressed with d way you got yourself out of it. I like it a lot. Where r u from?"
John replied, "I'm form Mexico?
"Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manger.
John replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there."
"My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.
John replied, ?Which team did she play for?"
Fun229
DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...
This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always
died in the same bed
and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with
the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the
ward to
investigate the cause of the incidents. So on next Sunday morning few minutes
before 11 a.m.
all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses,
prayer books
and other holy objects to ward off evil........
Just when the! clock struck 11...
and then......
then.....
then........
Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the
life support system
& plugged in the vacuum cleaner.
Fun224
Lessons of life
I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself .
************ ***
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don't try .
************ ***
I feared success
Until I realized That I had to try In order to be happy With myself.
************ ***
I feared people's opinions
Until I learned that People would have opinions About me anyway.
************ ***
I feared rejection
Until I learned to Have faith in myself.
************ ***
I feared pain
Until I learned that it's necessary For growth.
************ ***
I feared the truth
Until I saw the Ugliness in lies.
************ ***
I feared life
Until I experienced Its beauty .
************ ***
I feared death
Until I realized that it's Not an end, but a beginning .
************ ***
I feared my destiny,
Until I realized that I had the power to change My life.
************ ***
I feared hate
Until I saw that it Was nothing more than Ignorance.
************ ***
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, Making the darkness fade Into endless sunny days.
************ ***
I feared ridicule
Until I learned how To laugh at myself.
************ ***
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
************ ***
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting Better.
************ ***
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me .
************ ***
I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty Of the starlight.
************ ***
I feared the light
Until I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.
************ ***
I feared change,
Until I saw that Even the most beautiful butterfly Had to undergo a metamorphos is Before it could fly
Fun230
Poems written by husband to wife
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
******
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
******
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
******
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
******
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.
Fun226
Life's Little Instruction Book
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye. -
3. Sing in the shower.
4. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
5. Keep secrets.
6. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. :-)
7. Always accept an outstretched hand.
8. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
9. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
10. Choose your life's mate carefully.
11. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
12.Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
13. When playing games with children, let them win.
14. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
15. Be romantic.
16.Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
17. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.
18.Be a good loser.
19.Be a good winner.
20. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
21.When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
22. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
23.Keep it simple.
24.Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
25. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
26. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
.....
27. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
28. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.............
29. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
30. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else ! ! choose it for you.
31. Begin each day with some of your favorite music.. I wudnt agree more
..........
32. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
33. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
34. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bedside table. Million-dollar ideas dont stay in mind for long.
35. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
36.Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
37.Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
38. Become someone's hero.
39. Always be the first one to help a lady. Once you get through her smile can be one of your greatest rewards.
40. Marry only for love..........
41. Count your blessings but blessings should not be children.
42. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
43. Wave at the children on a school bus.
44. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people..........
45. Remember people.
46. Show off just in front of the mirror that can inspire you to change from worse to good because a mirror never tells a lie.
47. Never say "good bye" if you are optimistic, you can "say see you soon".
48. Love a smart woman not just a pretty face.
49. Always respect a woman.
50. Be a genuine & true, you will never repent for anything.
51. Don't expect life to be fair.
Fun228
A Paki, Bangladeshi and a Sardar are in a bar one
night having a beer.
The Paki drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass
in the air, pulls
out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In
Islamabad our
glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from
the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks
his beer, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots
the glass to
pieces. He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make
the glasses that
we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either."
The Sardar , cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and
drinks it, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots
the Paki and
Bangladeshi. He says "In Delhi we have so many Paki
and Bangladeshi that
We don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
Fun227
Once an old man was sitting in the park
reading book "learn Java in 21days".
A passer by saw him and asked "U are such
an old guy, why do you bother to learn java?
"I have heard that communication language
at heaven is Java so after my death when I
will be in heaven, I don't want to face
communication problem." Old man replied.
"But how come u are so sure that U will be
in heaven? It could be a hell also." He asked.
"Ya, doesn't matter .... I already know .......Mainframes "
Fun225
God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had
during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three!
Happy with the relatively good family planning
adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question.
When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset
and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.
Jawaharlal is next.
He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15
children, God is pretty angry and gives him an
inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning
on foot.
They ask why God hadn't given him anything.
Gandhiji replied with anger,
"Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!
Fun222
An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He
booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life.
At least for a while.
A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost
instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no
other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the
next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old
life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he
had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from, and how did you
get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said.
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," the software engineer said, "I didn't know anyone else had
survived. How many of you are there?
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing
did."
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made it out of raw material that I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove
the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or
hardware - how did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "On the south side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that
if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron.
I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But
enough of that. Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach
the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was
a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but
I call it home. Sit down, please.
Would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "I couldn't drink another
drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have made a still -
How about a Pinacolada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer
accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm
going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower
and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There
in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is absolutely amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit
down next to her. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to
him, brushing her leg against his, "We've both been out here for a very
long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel
like doing right now, something you've been longing to do for all of these
months."
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing -
this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.
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"You mean...," he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"
Fun216
Don't say you're not important, It simply isn't true,The fact that you were born,Is proof, God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now,But one day you will see,That all that came before,Was truly meant to be,
God wrote the book that is Life,That's all you need to know.Each day that you are living,Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers, So be proud of who you are,Your character is important, In this book, you are the
'Star'...
HAPPY THOUGHTS....
Fun219
The Seven Blunders of the World is a list that Mahatma Gandhi gave to his grandson Arun Gandhi,
on their final day together, not too long before his assassination.
The seven blunders are:
......
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principle
on their final day together, not too long before his assassination.
The seven blunders are:
......
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principle
Fun212
> Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat.
> Background both are s/ w
> engineers by the way and
> both work for real big MNC's
>
> Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing
> today?
>
> Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better
> having found u on chat
>
> Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts
> only when I find you on Chat
>
> Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right
> back)'ll get some Coffee.
>
> Hero: OK
>
> Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes
> to his seat.)
>
> Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
>
> Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time]
> Yeah tell me
>
> Manager: Could u write a program for me which
> generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would
> you give this by today evening?
>
> Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard,
> is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow
> evening.
>
> Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves
> the place]
>
> (Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting
> impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden
> smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
>
> Female: Hey, am back
>
> Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's
> kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give
> me stupid work
>
> Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick
> ppl these managers are!!
>
> Hero: Yep, u rite!!
>
> Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
>
> Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
>
> Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to
> print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that
> to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real
> Urgent for me to work
>
> Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur
> mail in an hour from now. ok?
>
> Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR
> WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE
> POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!
Fun214
Attack of a DOG
A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.
When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this. He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.
Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".
Reporter: "OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read....
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TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG!!!!!!!
Fun217
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant .
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Send this to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.
0 Replies - you may need to work on your "people skills"
2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
4 Replies - you have picked your friends well
6 Replies - you are downright popular
8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome (and that's probably why you're on MY list)
I wonder what mine will be
Fun220
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right, including me .
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was simply ' amazing', very much of her dream guy, she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
........A few days later she killed her FIRST sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?
(Give this some thought before you answer).
SCROLL DOWN ............
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Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath . This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
Be sure to share the test!
Also, if you answered correctly, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list
Fun218
Teacher: Tell me 5 water animals?
Sardar?s Kid: Fish.
Teacher: gud, aur 4?
Sardar?s Kid: fish da puttar
Fish da pra
Fish di kudi
Fish de maa?
NJOY!!!!!!!!!!
Fun215
WHO IS THE GREATEST?
Cow, Ant & Donkey
Cow, ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among three of THEM
So here it goes........ ......... .
Cow : I give 50 litters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest.
Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the Greatest.
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HELLO-WHY ARE YOU SCROLLING DOWN??
ITS YOUR TURN NOW - PLEASE SPEAK UP.
Fun213
Interesting Equations ( hehehe )
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If,
Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Men = Pigs + earn money
If
Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
If,
Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary :
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If,
Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Men = Pigs + earn money
If
Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
If,
Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary :
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Fun211
40 Things you really want to say....
40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work
1 I can see your point, but I still think you're full
of sh*t.
2 I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's
hard to pronounce.
3 How about never? Is never
good for you?
4 I see you've set aside this
special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
5 I'm really easy to
get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.
6 I'll try being nicer if
you'll try being smarter.
7 I'm out of my
mind, but feel free to leave a
message.
8 I don't work here. I'm a
consultant.
9 It sounds like English, but I
can't understand a
damn word you're saying.
10 Ahhh...I see the
screw-up fairy has visited us
again.
11 I like you. You remind me of
myself when I was
young and stupid.
12 You are validating my inherent
mistrust of
strangers.
13 I have plenty of talent and
vision. I just don't
give a damn.
14 I'm already visualizing the duct
tape over your
mouth.
15 I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I
had about you.
16 Thank you. We're all refreshed
and challenged by
your unique point of view.
17 The fact that no one
understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
18 Any connection between your
reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
19 What am I? Flypaper for
freaks!?
20 I'm not being rude. You're just
insignificant.
21 It's a thankless job, but I've
got a lot of Karma
to burn off.
22 Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but
my duties are
largely ceremonial.
23 And your crybaby whiny-assed
opinion would be...?
24 Do I look like a people
person?
25 This isn't an office. It's Hell
with fluorescent
lighting.
26 I started out with nothing and I
still have most of
it left.
27 Sarcasm is just one more service
we offer.
28 If I throw a stick, will you
leave?
29 Errors have been made. Others will
be blamed.
30 Whatever kind of look you were
going for, you
missed.
31 I'm trying to imagine you with a
personality.
32 A cubicle is just a padded cell
without a door.
33 Can I trade this job for what's
behind door #1?
34 Too many freaks, not enough
circuses.
35 Nice perfume. Must you marinate
in it?
36 Chaos, panic, and disorder - my
work here is done.
37 How do I set a laser printer
to stun?
38 I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just
wanted a salary.
39 Who lit the fuse on your
a**?
40 Oh I get it... like humour... but
different.
40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work
1 I can see your point, but I still think you're full
of sh*t.
2 I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's
hard to pronounce.
3 How about never? Is never
good for you?
4 I see you've set aside this
special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
5 I'm really easy to
get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.
6 I'll try being nicer if
you'll try being smarter.
7 I'm out of my
mind, but feel free to leave a
message.
8 I don't work here. I'm a
consultant.
9 It sounds like English, but I
can't understand a
damn word you're saying.
10 Ahhh...I see the
screw-up fairy has visited us
again.
11 I like you. You remind me of
myself when I was
young and stupid.
12 You are validating my inherent
mistrust of
strangers.
13 I have plenty of talent and
vision. I just don't
give a damn.
14 I'm already visualizing the duct
tape over your
mouth.
15 I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I
had about you.
16 Thank you. We're all refreshed
and challenged by
your unique point of view.
17 The fact that no one
understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
18 Any connection between your
reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
19 What am I? Flypaper for
freaks!?
20 I'm not being rude. You're just
insignificant.
21 It's a thankless job, but I've
got a lot of Karma
to burn off.
22 Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but
my duties are
largely ceremonial.
23 And your crybaby whiny-assed
opinion would be...?
24 Do I look like a people
person?
25 This isn't an office. It's Hell
with fluorescent
lighting.
26 I started out with nothing and I
still have most of
it left.
27 Sarcasm is just one more service
we offer.
28 If I throw a stick, will you
leave?
29 Errors have been made. Others will
be blamed.
30 Whatever kind of look you were
going for, you
missed.
31 I'm trying to imagine you with a
personality.
32 A cubicle is just a padded cell
without a door.
33 Can I trade this job for what's
behind door #1?
34 Too many freaks, not enough
circuses.
35 Nice perfume. Must you marinate
in it?
36 Chaos, panic, and disorder - my
work here is done.
37 How do I set a laser printer
to stun?
38 I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just
wanted a salary.
39 Who lit the fuse on your
a**?
40 Oh I get it... like humour... but
different.
Fun209
New style of writing a love letter
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,
After WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I
dare to say that You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and
BOSCH (Invented for life) and my AIWA (Pure
passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are
SANSUI(Better than the best). You are
DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me.
This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh ) feeling
for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are
worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ
CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born
Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD
ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family
members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).
If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS
(Let's Make Things Better). They will feel
MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in
COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye). For our
marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after
marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The
World's best homemakers)
Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who
love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for
each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of
love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK
(Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy )
and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!
I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).
LG (Digitally Yours)!!!!!
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,
After WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I
dare to say that You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and
BOSCH (Invented for life) and my AIWA (Pure
passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are
SANSUI(Better than the best). You are
DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me.
This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh ) feeling
for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are
worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ
CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born
Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD
ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family
members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).
If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS
(Let's Make Things Better). They will feel
MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in
COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye). For our
marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after
marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The
World's best homemakers)
Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who
love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for
each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of
love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK
(Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy )
and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!
I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).
LG (Digitally Yours)!!!!!
Fun208
I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.
" This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love .... They try to posses it, they demand, they expect ... And just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, You can not change its nature.
If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice.
It is the secret to true love.To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."
Passing thought ... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take ; but by the moments that take our breath away
This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love .... They try to posses it, they demand, they expect ... And just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, You can not change its nature.
If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice.
It is the secret to true love.To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."
Passing thought ... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take ; but by the moments that take our breath away
Fun203
Rejections-Really true
Rejections: The Female Way
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in
"Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may
hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and
Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar
system', much less
the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is
better than
dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women:
1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in
excruciating detail
about all the other men I meet. It's that male perspective
thing)
this is too much a lie to accept
Rejections: The Male Way
This is too truthful to accept
Rejections and what they mean
10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men:
1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)
Rejections: The Female Way
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in
"Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may
hear phone
calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and
Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar
system', much less
the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is
better than
dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women:
1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in
excruciating detail
about all the other men I meet. It's that male perspective
thing)
this is too much a lie to accept
Rejections: The Male Way
This is too truthful to accept
Rejections and what they mean
10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men:
1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)
Fun202
::: Mix Santa - Banta jokes :::
Mix Santa - Banta jokes
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected
was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for
48 hrs on escalators.
How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the
line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's
1394.
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally
writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ."
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press
the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he
hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You
know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Mix Santa - Banta jokes
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected
was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for
48 hrs on escalators.
How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the
line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's
1394.
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally
writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ."
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press
the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he
hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You
know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Fun205
Some of the Inspiring Quotes which tell not to give up in life so you can learn something from these Quotes
1) Never expect things to happen..struggle and make them happen.
never expect yourself to be given a good value create a value of your own
2) If a drop of water falls in lake there is no identity.But if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shine like a pearl.so choose the best place where you would shine..
3) Falling down is not defeat...defeat is when your refuse to get up...
4) Ship is always safe at shore... but is is not built for it
5) When your successful your well wishers know who you are when you are
unsuccessful you know who your well wishers are
6) It is great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him/her
7) "To the world you might be one person,but to one person you just might be the world
8) "Even the word 'IMPOSSIBLE' says 'I M POSSIBLE' "
9) Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life
makes all the difference.
1) Never expect things to happen..struggle and make them happen.
never expect yourself to be given a good value create a value of your own
2) If a drop of water falls in lake there is no identity.But if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shine like a pearl.so choose the best place where you would shine..
3) Falling down is not defeat...defeat is when your refuse to get up...
4) Ship is always safe at shore... but is is not built for it
5) When your successful your well wishers know who you are when you are
unsuccessful you know who your well wishers are
6) It is great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him/her
7) "To the world you might be one person,but to one person you just might be the world
8) "Even the word 'IMPOSSIBLE' says 'I M POSSIBLE' "
9) Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life
makes all the difference.
Fun207
Why to get bored in office???? try this
If you find it very boring in the office, here are some
tips:
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting
next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet
mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who
reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there,
and note down the time they take to reach
there. Then do vice versa....... ...... !!
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's
chair just to irritate him/her.
5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions
while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible,
just by asking silly doubts.
8. Make faces at strangers in office.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Learn to whistle.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Enhence your Literature skills. you can author "1001
innovative ways to waste your day" to help your collegues
15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
16. Have work breaks in between tea.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can
open at time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and
restore them..Then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have
looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
20. Read jokes and send jokes.
21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table
provided and take a nap.
22. Send this mail to only one at a time to every one in
your contact list.
If you find it very boring in the office, here are some
tips:
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting
next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet
mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who
reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there,
and note down the time they take to reach
there. Then do vice versa....... ...... !!
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's
chair just to irritate him/her.
5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions
while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible,
just by asking silly doubts.
8. Make faces at strangers in office.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Learn to whistle.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Enhence your Literature skills. you can author "1001
innovative ways to waste your day" to help your collegues
15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
16. Have work breaks in between tea.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can
open at time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and
restore them..Then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have
looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
20. Read jokes and send jokes.
21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table
provided and take a nap.
22. Send this mail to only one at a time to every one in
your contact list.
Fun210
Tales from the Panchatantra (READ IT)
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used
to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on
the banks of a
river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs
in the Sunday
market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the
table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra
story of his
childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying
to the River
Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only
after
one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that
he had lost his
computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.
She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your
computer ?"
Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness,
the engineer
replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if
that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at
all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and
asked if it was his.
The
engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was
about to give him all
three items,
but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked
her, "Don't you
know
that you're supposed to show me some better computers
before bringing up
my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that,
you
stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the
Trillennium and
the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So
saying, she
disappeared with the Pentium!!
* * * * * * * * *
Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's
better keep
your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to
open your mouth
and remove all doubt.
Fun206
WHY GIRLS DONT MARRY SOFTWARE ENGINEERS.....
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default. [:)]
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log in again
Fun204
Just for giggles
Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one
would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....(both are equally dense!!)
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created
woman!!!! (Yea)
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a
UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own
business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions
..LOL!!!
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Pass this on to some women who need a laugh..
And to men who can handle it!
Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one
would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....(both are equally dense!!)
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created
woman!!!! (Yea)
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a
UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own
business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions
..LOL!!!
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Pass this on to some women who need a laugh..
And to men who can handle it!
Fun201
::: 10 Best Answering Machine Messages :::
10
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub,and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number
and they will get back to you.
8
This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning
your call.
7
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets.
6
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you
didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If
you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So, leave a message.
4
Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a"sexy"
message, I'll call sooner.
3
Hi. Now YOU say something.
2
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. And the Number 1 Actual
Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous
International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.
1
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right
now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it
up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave
a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
Fun192
Hi,
Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail? Do you hate it? Every time you forward an e-mail, there is information left over from the
people who got the message before you, namely their e-mail addresses & names. As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses
builds, and builds, and builds, and all it takes is for some poor chap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every E-mail
address that has come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes
that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each hit. That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel! How do you stop it? Well, there are two easy steps:
(1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE
them. High light them and delete them, backspace them, cut them, whatever it is you know how to do. It only takes a second. You MUST click the
"Forward" button first and then you will have full editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit the message at all.
(2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, do NOT use the To: or Cc: columns for adding e-mail address. Always use the BCC:(blind
carbon copy) column for listing the e-mail addresses. This is the way that people you send to only see their own e-mail address. If you don't
see your BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that easy.
When you send to BCC: your message will automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients in the "TO:" field of the people who receive it.
(3) Remove any "FW:" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject more relevantly if you wish or even fix spelling.
(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 pages to read the one
page with the information on it? By forwarding from the actual page you wish someone to view; you stop them from having to open many e-mails
Just to see what you sent.
Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to forward it to 10 or 15
people or your entire address book. The email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses. A FACT: The
completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses
contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position may carry more weight as a
personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition.
So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses.
Fun196
Love vs Infatuation
Love vs Infatuation What,
then, is the elusive thing called "Love" that everyone so
desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl
because she is beautiful? Or the girl likes him because he is
handsome? But this kind of "Cinderella Syndrome" when the
girl is waiting on her Prince Charming, is not real love.
It is better known as "Infatuation", and there is a vast
difference between it and real love. Enumerated here below are
the differences. Find out if you are really in love and
not just infatuated.
Infatuation Infatuation is a feeling; real love
involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of
emotion. Real love though, is love of devotion. Only the
emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love
both the Emotions and the Will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into"
real love. Gentlemen, have you ever seen a girl who was so
beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is
infatuation. It is based totally on physical attraction; Often
you don't know much in-depth about the person you
so-called love. Thus infatuation is mostly biological.
Also remember, never tell a woman you love her, unless you
are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically
selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation
is more interested in satisfying yourself and your
"feelings" than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It
seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the
highest good for the other person. Lastly,
infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real
love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not
mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the
contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are
truly in love. Love
Now you understand what is infatuation, let us now go on
to discuss about Love.
1. Love is Patient
The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for
the fulfillment of expectations. When you have
difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out of
her shell, if you truly love her, you will not complain
and blame her, you must look at the situation from her
point of view ? ??? maybe she is having some problems
which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it
with patience and understanding. Have you ever
met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the
relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have!
Love, however, Love is willing to give the relationship
time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push
but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate
that is satisfactory to both parties.
1. Love is Kind
Love seeks to encourage and build up on
others. It respects the feelings and emotions
of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in
making others happy, i.e. Compliment one another, magnify the
other's strength, Listen to one another. Pay close
attention to what each of you has to say and make each
other feel that what each says is important, etc.
1. Love is not Jealous
Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart.
Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is
possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish
statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just
forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally
possess the other and to restrict her relationships with
others.
1. Love is not to Brag
Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress.
Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so
that she will like him. A truly great person, however,
does not need to exalt himself. Others will exalt him.
1. Love is not Arrogant
Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love,
instead, is humble and has a servant attitude .
Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take
you or leave you" attitude. His demeanor implies, "You
ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating
you". Of course this is not love.
1. Love always Covers
This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep
confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It
doesn't criticize or broadcast to the world the
faults of others. Love is present even when it
knows the other is not perfect.
1. Love always Perseveres
Love always stands its ground and holds
out . It will outlast anything. It will even love on the
face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all
sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
1. Love is not Provoked
This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become
irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love
does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is
other-centered not self-centered. Love says, "I
love you, I want to give you." Selfishness says, "I love
you, I want you!"
1. Love does not act Unbecomingly
This means that love does not behave disgracefully,
dishonorably, or indecently. It does not embarrass others
by its actions. It is characterized by tact and
sensitivity. This also means that love should have good
manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors
for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk
together.
1. Love is Forgiving
Lastly, this is a MUST for a successful love story. If a
guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his
girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting
love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.
Love vs Infatuation What,
then, is the elusive thing called "Love" that everyone so
desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl
because she is beautiful? Or the girl likes him because he is
handsome? But this kind of "Cinderella Syndrome" when the
girl is waiting on her Prince Charming, is not real love.
It is better known as "Infatuation", and there is a vast
difference between it and real love. Enumerated here below are
the differences. Find out if you are really in love and
not just infatuated.
Infatuation Infatuation is a feeling; real love
involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of
emotion. Real love though, is love of devotion. Only the
emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love
both the Emotions and the Will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into"
real love. Gentlemen, have you ever seen a girl who was so
beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is
infatuation. It is based totally on physical attraction; Often
you don't know much in-depth about the person you
so-called love. Thus infatuation is mostly biological.
Also remember, never tell a woman you love her, unless you
are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically
selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation
is more interested in satisfying yourself and your
"feelings" than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It
seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the
highest good for the other person. Lastly,
infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real
love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not
mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the
contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are
truly in love. Love
Now you understand what is infatuation, let us now go on
to discuss about Love.
1. Love is Patient
The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for
the fulfillment of expectations. When you have
difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out of
her shell, if you truly love her, you will not complain
and blame her, you must look at the situation from her
point of view ? ??? maybe she is having some problems
which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it
with patience and understanding. Have you ever
met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the
relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have!
Love, however, Love is willing to give the relationship
time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push
but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate
that is satisfactory to both parties.
1. Love is Kind
Love seeks to encourage and build up on
others. It respects the feelings and emotions
of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in
making others happy, i.e. Compliment one another, magnify the
other's strength, Listen to one another. Pay close
attention to what each of you has to say and make each
other feel that what each says is important, etc.
1. Love is not Jealous
Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart.
Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is
possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish
statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just
forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally
possess the other and to restrict her relationships with
others.
1. Love is not to Brag
Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress.
Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so
that she will like him. A truly great person, however,
does not need to exalt himself. Others will exalt him.
1. Love is not Arrogant
Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love,
instead, is humble and has a servant attitude .
Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take
you or leave you" attitude. His demeanor implies, "You
ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating
you". Of course this is not love.
1. Love always Covers
This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep
confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It
doesn't criticize or broadcast to the world the
faults of others. Love is present even when it
knows the other is not perfect.
1. Love always Perseveres
Love always stands its ground and holds
out . It will outlast anything. It will even love on the
face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all
sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
1. Love is not Provoked
This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become
irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love
does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is
other-centered not self-centered. Love says, "I
love you, I want to give you." Selfishness says, "I love
you, I want you!"
1. Love does not act Unbecomingly
This means that love does not behave disgracefully,
dishonorably, or indecently. It does not embarrass others
by its actions. It is characterized by tact and
sensitivity. This also means that love should have good
manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors
for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk
together.
1. Love is Forgiving
Lastly, this is a MUST for a successful love story. If a
guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his
girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting
love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.
Fun200
Secret behind Rajini's colour
Secret behind Rajini's colour If
you have watched Sivaji..You have observed the fair complexion of
Rajinikanth in the song Oru koodai
Sunlight.Everyone thought it was make-up that made Superstar
Rajinikanth look like a European in that song, but the secret is
about a year of computer graphics.
"We used cutting edge grafting technology and it was
Shankar's brain child," revealed the film's
cinematographer KV Anand. "For the first time grafting technology
has been used for an Indian film which was made possible
by a Chennai based company Indian Arts who had worked in
Shankar's earlier films," he said. One of the dancers,
Jacky, was chosen by Shankar and Rajini's skin tone was
matched with her's. The six and a half minute song was
shot in Spain. "Each shot of
Rajni's in the song was once again shot with Jacky and was sent
to Indian Arts. Since the lighting varies in indoor and
outdoor, to match the skin tone, expressions, lip and body
movements of the two was a challenging task," explained
Anand. A total of 6700 frames were been for post
production. Rajinikanth himself was amazed after watching the
song.
Secret behind Rajini's colour If
you have watched Sivaji..You have observed the fair complexion of
Rajinikanth in the song Oru koodai
Sunlight.Everyone thought it was make-up that made Superstar
Rajinikanth look like a European in that song, but the secret is
about a year of computer graphics.
"We used cutting edge grafting technology and it was
Shankar's brain child," revealed the film's
cinematographer KV Anand. "For the first time grafting technology
has been used for an Indian film which was made possible
by a Chennai based company Indian Arts who had worked in
Shankar's earlier films," he said. One of the dancers,
Jacky, was chosen by Shankar and Rajini's skin tone was
matched with her's. The six and a half minute song was
shot in Spain. "Each shot of
Rajni's in the song was once again shot with Jacky and was sent
to Indian Arts. Since the lighting varies in indoor and
outdoor, to match the skin tone, expressions, lip and body
movements of the two was a challenging task," explained
Anand. A total of 6700 frames were been for post
production. Rajinikanth himself was amazed after watching the
song.
Fun198
TEARS? OF A HUSBAND ( NICE 1 )
TEARS? ???
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband
was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look
for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a
sip of his coffee. "What's
the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the
room. "Why are you down here at this time of
night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you
remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were
only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the
garden?" "Yes! I remember"
said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he
showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail
for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another
tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today!" L L
TEARS? ???
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband
was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look
for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a
sip of his coffee. "What's
the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the
room. "Why are you down here at this time of
night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you
remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were
only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the
garden?" "Yes! I remember"
said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he
showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail
for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another
tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today!" L L
Fun199
What Are They..!
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when
we say DADDY':
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIPS
*********
2) What goes up & never comes down:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AGE
*********
3) Patches over patches but no stitches :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CABBAGE
*********
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before
you:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FUTURE
*********
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ROAD
*********
6) You can never wet it:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHADOW
*********
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more
often you do:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOUR NAME
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when
we say DADDY':
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIPS
*********
2) What goes up & never comes down:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
AGE
*********
3) Patches over patches but no stitches :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CABBAGE
*********
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before
you:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FUTURE
*********
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ROAD
*********
6) You can never wet it:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHADOW
*********
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more
often you do:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOUR NAME
Fun194
Think Positive !!
This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't
always manage to do.
I am thankful...
1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep
with me and not with someone else.
2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes,
because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have
been surrounded by friends.
5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have
enough to eat.
6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the
sunshine.
7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning
because it means I have a home.
8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it
means that we have freedom of speech.
9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means
that I can hear.
11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have
clothes to wear.
12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it
means I have been capable of working hard.
13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it
means that I am still alive.
AND FINALLY ....... for received e-mails because it means I have friends who are thinking of me, at least.
HAVE A NICE DAY !!!
.
__,_._,___
Fun197
"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry
becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved
becomes the password
of ur mail id"
---------------
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
---------------
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
---------------
Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
---------------
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai .
---------------
Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
Fun195
Tut te pal me hasna sikh liya
Gehre Gham me muskurana sikh liya
Ab zindagi shayad zyada muskhil nahi
Jab GHAM ke pyale ko hi pina sikh liya
Logo par bharosa kam karna sikh liya hai maine
Dosto se umeede kam rakhna sikh liya hai maine
Ab zindagi shayad zyada muskhil nahi
Jab Apne aap se jo Dosti ki hai
Usme hi khush rehna sikh liya hai maine
Ab kisiko na dundna sikh liya hai maine
Ab kisiko na chahna sikh liya hai maine
Ab zindagi shayad zyada muskhil nahi
jab kisi ki yaado me na rona
bikul bhi na rona sikha liya hai hai maine
Sikhte Sikhte ache logo ko pehchan na sikha hai maine
Sikhte Sikhte muskil me majje karna bhi sikh liya hai maine
Ab zindagi shayad zyada muskhil nahi
Kyunki ki Shayad
Zindagi jeena sikh liya hai maine
Fun193
MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
>> **********************************************************
>> Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
>> Mr. Bean: 9
>> Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
>> Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the
>>figure, the
>>answer
>>is 6!!
>>
>> **********************************************************
>> WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
>> **********************************************************
>> Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
>> Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
>> Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet
>>yet!!
>>
>> **********************************************************
>> QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
>> **********************************************************
>> Friend: What are you looking at?
>> Mr. Bean: I know your password., hee, hee.
>> Friend: Alright, what is my password. if you saw it?
>> Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
>>
>> **********************************************************
>> CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
>> **********************************************************
>> Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
>> Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I
>>didn't see
>>any
>>picture.
>> Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
>> Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
>>
>> **********************************************************
>> MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
>> **********************************************************
>> Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs.
>>because of
>>a
>>power failure.
>> Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator
>>for 3 hrs.
>>
>> **********************************************************
>> Spelling lesson
>> **********************************************************
>> Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it
>>one c
>> or two c?
>> Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
>>
Fun191
Look back and thank God.
Look forward and trust God.
Look around and serve God.
Look within and find God!"
"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?'
God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'"
"Without God, our week is: Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday and Sinday. So, allow Him to be with you every day!"
"Life is short, so forgive quickly. Believe slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. Never regret anything that makes you happy"
Fun186
Even if u answer **five** questions its great...Feel proud...
1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
HERE ARE THE ANSWERS:
Answers
1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax .
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea .
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa .
17. Polo.
Fun185
Sir, " What is the secret of your success?" a reporter asked a
bank President.
"Two words."
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make right decisions?"
"One word.'
"And, sir, What is that?"
"Experience. "
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Wrong decisions ."
Fun188
When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore
that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around
to find them.
> At that moment, you are in love.
Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in love.
Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back,
to let you know of their safe arrival,
your phone is quiet.
> You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from
that special someone than other many long e-mails,
you are in love.
When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the
> emails or SMS messages in your phone because of one message
from that special someone, you are in love.
When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
> Then, you are in love.
You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",but
you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that
moment, you are in love.
While you are reading this mail, if someone
appears in your mind,
> then u are in love with that person...;))
Fun190
1= I like you
2= I love you
3= You're funny
4= You're cool
5= I don't really care for your personality
6= I wanna be you
7= You're sexy
8= You have a nice body
9= I hate you
10= You're boring
11= your gay and your just a waste of air
12= You have an awesome personality
13= I want a kiss
14= I wanna be your best friend
15= I want to go out with you
16= I'm looking for a relationship with you
17= be wit me
18= you're cute
19= I don't know you well enough
20= I want you in my life
21= lets give it another try
22= I can forgive you lets try it!
23= no one can ever replace u
24= being your friend is really great
25= u never change
26= u silly as hell
27= I miss u
28= I want u and only u
29= can we just make up for old time sake!
30= I wanna marry u!
A REPLLY IS A MUST ...U CAN SELECT MORE THAN 1 NUMBER
BUT FIRST SND DIS TO ALL UR FRNDS INCLUDING ME SO THT I CAN RITE ABT U!!!!!
Fun189
A ever best kabir written poems in IT industry.
Kabir :
Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye
Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye
SE:
Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye,
Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye
Kabir :
Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye
SE :
Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.
Rahim :
Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye
tode se fir jude na, jude gaanth pad jaaye
SE :
SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye
Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.
Kabir :
Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,
Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye
SE :
Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,
client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..
Kabir :
Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye
Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab Koye
SE :
Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,
Aisi karni na kari , tu hase client roye...
Kabir:
Dukh Mein Simran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Simran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye
SE:
Rush hour mein kaam sab karen , routine mein kare na koye,
jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.
Kabir :
Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,
Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye
SE :
Coding kar ar jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,
Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.
Kabir :
Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,
Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye
SE:
Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,
Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.
Kabir:
Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye
SE:
Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye,
kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.
Kabir:
Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin
Manua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Simran Nahin
SE:
Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,
Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin
Fun187
Camel
A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the
Afghanistan desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he
noticed a Camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are
250 men here on the post and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have "urges".
That's why we have Molly The Camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this,
but I understand about "urges", so the camel can stay ..
" About a month later, the Captain starts ;having his own "urges".
Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls
His pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he
asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
No not really,
sir... "They usually just ride the camel into town where
the girls are."
Fun184
Sound advice on sleep
A man can go two weeks without eating. But if he
doesn't rest at all, he can only survive for one week.
Sleeping provides us the time to rest our
internal organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep
quality can cause internal damage to our internal
organs and brains.
Therefore, sleeping is very important to us.
If you wish to have a long life
and stay healthy, please
take note of the advice below.
5 DON'TS when you are sleeping
DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near
you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone
as far as possible. Scientists have proved that
electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves
when used. These waves
can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put
your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your
health.
DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12
hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.
DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin
problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have
difficulty in breathing
and problem in perspiring You will also need a much
longer time to go into deep sleep.
DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.
A man can go two weeks without eating. But if he
doesn't rest at all, he can only survive for one week.
Sleeping provides us the time to rest our
internal organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep
quality can cause internal damage to our internal
organs and brains.
Therefore, sleeping is very important to us.
If you wish to have a long life
and stay healthy, please
take note of the advice below.
5 DON'TS when you are sleeping
DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near
you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone
as far as possible. Scientists have proved that
electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves
when used. These waves
can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put
your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your
health.
DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12
hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.
DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin
problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have
difficulty in breathing
and problem in perspiring You will also need a much
longer time to go into deep sleep.
DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.
Fun183
Best Answering Machine Messages
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but
if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to
you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows
or a tub,and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the
office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and home phone number and they will
get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll
think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick
your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I
already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If
you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female,
don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If
you leave a"sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I
don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back,
it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded
and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of
Answering Machine Messages.
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up
the phone right now, because we're doing something we
really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing
it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and
when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
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