Fun19

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


 

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed tha t her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"




The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's  Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she’s dead.”



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of t he blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,  "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."  

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

 

 

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer
and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in
turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in
the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London.
When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember
the days when we drank together.

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Banta Singh became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same
way. He orders 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers
All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender
says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
sincere condolences on your great loss. "
Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no,"
he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .

" The only thing is
 
I just quit drinking"!!!