Fun14

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Is the cat there?" "Of course, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."

 

 

Santa died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told

him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order

to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

 

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

 

Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are “today” and “tomorrow.”

2. There are “12 seconds” in a year.

 

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the

answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in

a year?"

 

The Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."

 

Saint Peter lets him in without another word