Fun289

Jokes journey


*Break Into the House*


A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the
burglar who had broken into his house the night before.


"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.


"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into
the house without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do
that for years!"


***********


*Lost Wife*


The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large
supermarket and asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in
the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"


"Why?" she asks.


"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife
appears out of nowhere."


***********


*Teacher*


"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please
stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher.


After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now
then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired
the teacher with a sneer.


"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to
see you standing up there all by yourself."


***********


*Hearing*


An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a
number of years.


He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to
hear 100%.


The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must
be really pleased that you can hear again."


The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family
yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!"


***********


*Wedding*


Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in
white?"


"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the
happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain,
keeping it simple.


The child thought about this for a moment,then said, "
So, why is the groom wearing black?"


***********


* Dream*


A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced
enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you
think it means?"


With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know
tonight."


That evening the man came home with a small package and
handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman
quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - " The
meaning of Dreams".


***********