Fun183

Best Answering Machine Messages


10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but
if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to
you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows
or a tub,and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the
office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and home phone number and they will
get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll
think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick
your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I
already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If
you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female,
don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If
you leave a"sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I
don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back,
it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded
and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of
Answering Machine Messages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up
the phone right now, because we're doing something we
really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing
it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and
when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.