Fun211

40 Things you really want to say....

40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work



1 I can see your point, but I still think you're full
of sh*t.


2 I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's
hard to pronounce.


3 How about never? Is never
good for you?


4 I see you've set aside this
special time to
humiliate yourself in public.


5 I'm really easy to
get along with once you people
learn to see it my way.


6 I'll try being nicer if
you'll try being smarter.


7 I'm out of my
mind, but feel free to leave a
message.


8 I don't work here. I'm a
consultant.


9 It sounds like English, but I
can't understand a
damn word you're saying.


10 Ahhh...I see the
screw-up fairy has visited us
again.


11 I like you. You remind me of
myself when I was
young and stupid.


12 You are validating my inherent
mistrust of
strangers.


13 I have plenty of talent and
vision. I just don't
give a damn.


14 I'm already visualizing the duct
tape over your
mouth.


15 I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I
had about you.


16 Thank you. We're all refreshed
and challenged by
your unique point of view.


17 The fact that no one
understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.


18 Any connection between your
reality and mine is
purely coincidental.


19 What am I? Flypaper for
freaks!?


20 I'm not being rude. You're just
insignificant.


21 It's a thankless job, but I've
got a lot of Karma
to burn off.


22 Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but
my duties are
largely ceremonial.


23 And your crybaby whiny-assed
opinion would be...?


24 Do I look like a people
person?


25 This isn't an office. It's Hell
with fluorescent
lighting.


26 I started out with nothing and I
still have most of
it left.


27 Sarcasm is just one more service
we offer.


28 If I throw a stick, will you
leave?


29 Errors have been made. Others will
be blamed.


30 Whatever kind of look you were
going for, you
missed.


31 I'm trying to imagine you with a
personality.


32 A cubicle is just a padded cell
without a door.


33 Can I trade this job for what's
behind door #1?


34 Too many freaks, not enough
circuses.


35 Nice perfume. Must you marinate
in it?


36 Chaos, panic, and disorder - my
work here is done.


37 How do I set a laser printer
to stun?


38 I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just
wanted a salary.


39 Who lit the fuse on your
a**?


40 Oh I get it... like humour... but
different.